40+ ...and minuses
Do you straddle middle-age, with one foot in the past, one foot in the future and the present smacking you between the legs??
You do? Well, join the club!!
Each week, old mates; Jonathan Alden & Juan Miralles (and their Cats!) nostalgically cling on to their youth, reluctantly glimpse at old age, and banter their way through the irritations of their now middle-age life.
Introducing the hilarious and relatable comedy podcast that celebrates the trials and tribulations of being in that over 40 zone!
Welcome to 40+ ...and minuses!!
40+ ...and minuses
S3 E05: Happy New Year!
As the last fireworks fade and the confetti settles on another year gone by, it's time for a heartfelt yet humorous trip down memory lane.
Raise your glass for the New Year's resolutions - those ambitions we declare with a mixture of hope and naivety.
Join us for more than just a New Year's toast - it's a celebration of where we've been and where we're headed, all wrapped up in an episode you won't want to miss.
Please rate and share this episode if you enjoyed it. This really helps us grow the pod!
If you have any questions for us, please email: 40plusandminuses@gmail.com
Follow us at the following @40plus_and_minuses_podcast
Happy New Year, happy New.
Speaker 1:Year 20, 24.
Speaker 2:Isn't it just?
Speaker 1:I feel like we should be in one of those films that we watched in the 90s, like Demolition man, by now. Yeah, we're getting citations for like swearing and stuff like that Demolition man.
Speaker 2:That was actually a really good film.
Speaker 1:I love that film.
Speaker 2:I mean, was it a really good film when I think about it?
Speaker 1:Probably not when you watch it back. No, was it Sandra Bullock? Wesley Snipes, wasn't it? It was a strange film. No, no, it was Wesley Snipes, but the main character was Sylvester Stallone and Sandra Bullock. Yeah, yes, and.
Speaker 2:Ben, what's his name? Benjamin, I can't remember Button, the other guy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was it.
Speaker 2:It just keeps going back and forth. Yeah, it was probably a terrible film, but I liked it a lot.
Speaker 1:And then there was Fifth Element. That was the best in the future. What year was that supposed to?
Speaker 2:be. It was like 500 years in the future, wasn't it? That was it, yeah, yeah, yeah, I did quite like that, and then Back to the Future, which is nothing like it is now. No, we've been gone. Well, you can buy the trainers now.
Speaker 1:Can you Talking about that, though I yeah, well, not talking about the trainers, but I just read something Looking back at last year. Elon Musk got the rights to try or put in this thing in people's brains Brilliant Chip thing. I was like are you what that one passed me by?
Speaker 2:probably because I don't listen to the news, that's never been thought about and put into films like it's a bad thing at all. Yeah, so we should all be really happy with it.
Speaker 1:But anyway, here we are, the New Year's Day special. It's a great. We're going to have a chat about our best and worst New Year's Eves. We're going to talk about New Year's resolutions. We're going to have a little Mone of the Year.
Speaker 2:This time, oh, mone of the Year. I could go on for a while.
Speaker 1:And talk about all things to do with New Year's Day and looking forward and, obviously, with us, looking back.
Speaker 2:I mean, it wouldn't be us without looking back, would it, on our past glories. How was your Christmas one? Well, my Christmas, john, I'm assuming, was pretty good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh yeah, oh, way too much. It was a nice dinner. Yeah, I got a.
Speaker 2:Tesla and I won the lottery, so that was good, no, you didn't.
Speaker 1:No, I guess everyone knows you're fucking lying. I imagine you've got some presents. I suppose I will have done, yeah, I suppose you will have done yeah, I think I probably got some as well. Good, I would have done yeah, would have got some.
Speaker 2:I imagine we're both still in relationships.
Speaker 1:Well, we'll see, let's hope Only because I've been away for five weeks. I just didn't see me, right? Yeah, that's probably true. Yeah, I just finished Panto yesterday.
Speaker 2:Oh how was it?
Speaker 1:Oh, it was absolutely brilliant, good, good.
Speaker 2:Oh, you missed the car. You missed it there, mate. Oh no, it wasn't.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely fucking schoolboy era there. Do you know why?
Speaker 2:that is, though, because you fucking hate Panto Dead inside.
Speaker 1:You're dead inside.
Speaker 2:That's why it's because I hate it. It didn't even come to my head because I was just like that's not how I hate it, no, I know, I can see, I can see.
Speaker 1:I gave you the look and everything you were like, hmm.
Speaker 2:You did. It took me a second because I just didn't want to acknowledge that that was a thing.
Speaker 1:Well, anyway, I did, you know, finish my last show yesterday, yeah, and I had a gig last night, so I'm really tired today, oh no.
Speaker 2:No injuries nothing happened, everything went well.
Speaker 1:No, everything went fine. Yet yeah, I got a one, a BAFTA.
Speaker 2:Amazing. That's so weird because I got an Olivier for my performance at the gym. Yeah, I sure you did. Yeah, shall we explain ourselves? No, fuck it, they know what they're on.
Speaker 1:They know what we're talking about.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Anyway. So this episode New Year's Day. I tell you what it's a. It's always a good one for me, new Year's Day, because it's the anniversary of my mum dying, so that's a little bit.
Speaker 2:That is fun.
Speaker 1:I always think about that as well, yeah, hey 10 years, 10 years this year, is it really?
Speaker 2:10 years ago. I can't believe that. I know it's mad, isn't it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that New Year's Eve the night before that was fun, because that we literally so. Do you have a few drinks?
Speaker 2:Let's talk about New Year's.
Speaker 1:Eve then, so New Year's Eve that year, 2012. No, 2013. Yeah, New.
Speaker 1:Year's Eve 2013. We just went out. We went to the hospital in Wimbledon at the time and we went out to get some bits and bobs in. We're going to stay in and we're going to have New Year's Eve in because we're going to back to see Mum at the hospital the next day, right. So we went out and I don't know if I I think I've told the story before, but my partner was in the car shop trying to get discounted Christmas cards for the next year. I was like what?
Speaker 2:am I with?
Speaker 1:What the fuck I said. Should I go in and get some Christmas cards? I went, it's New Year's Eve. She went yeah, but they're on offer now for next year. I was like I don't know if I can go out with you. Oh my God.
Speaker 2:No, that's not just a red flag, that's a whole fucking, that's a globe of red flags.
Speaker 1:But no, I stood. I think I might have told this on another episode I can't remember because I'm old but I was stood outside paperjaced waiting for her to get her cars and this guy ran out of the shop opposite with a bag and, pursued by a security guard, he nicked something from the shop and something inside me, just twigged and I just went fuck it and going after him. So I chased him through the shopping centre and what I was in Wimbledon and you know you can go out and sort of like the side exit at the back onto the street where the buses are.
Speaker 1:So he went out there and I ran after him. This security guy was going leave it, just leave it, just leave it to me. And I was like whoa and I got outside and the security guy caught on me. So just leave me, just leave it. And I thought to myself what the fuck was I going to do? Yeah, just say what was the plan.
Speaker 1:What happened if I caught up with this guy I don't know who the fuck he is and he said no, it's fine, mate, it's fine, don't worry about it. I was like, oh yeah, cool. So then I went back to the shop and my missus is still in there and I walked in and I was like, oh yeah, I'm like this. She went what the fuck's wrong with you? I went just be like hey, she's in the shoplifter.
Speaker 2:She went what I went shoplifter.
Speaker 1:Anyway, I went back outside to sort of like wait for her again and there was this one of those stands where they're selling Sky TV packages, oh good, and the guy went. He looked at me. He went hey, mate, mate, you in, do you work here? I was like I can't say mate, can't say you went, oh no, you part of security. I was like can't say mate, it's classified. And he fucking bought it. He thought I was kind of undercover thing, anyway. So then we got on the stuff, we took it back home, we put the Prosecco or the champagne or whatever we bought in the fridge and that's when we got the phone call to say just let you know, your mum's going to die tomorrow. So that was a cracking news.
Speaker 2:So there wasn't a fun ending to that story then, no, no, okay. The fun bit was the chase. The chase is always the best bit, though, isn't it? Let's be honest.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was an interesting news. He was sitting there going. She put the food on like, yeah, let's put the food on.
Speaker 2:Holy shit. I mean this is not the time to go into it, obviously, but I will, so I was. I mean, what did you think when you got that fucking phone call? What was going through your head?
Speaker 1:Well, from what I can remember, I was numb to begin with. That was the running. That was the running. Yeah, couldn't feel me fucking legs. No, because she'd been on this intensive care stuff and she was on blood transfusions and all different stuff, yeah, and it all seemed to be sort of moving in the right direction. But yeah, they called and just said look, you know, basically she's had she's not waking up how we think she should be Something that's not quite right. We've done tests and she'd had a couple of strokes and one of them was like massive and she said what they do when a patient's had a stroke.
Speaker 1:They have to take them off of all machines to see if they can support themselves or the body can support, she said. But realistically she'll probably last about 20 minutes and that'll be it, oh shit, and I was like cool, so I'll see you tomorrow, then See you.
Speaker 1:In the morning they basically said they were like obviously they weren't taking her off until next day and then. So then we're going back to Bristol next day and on the way there we've got another call to say she's sort of taking Matt as an intro and hands a bit. Can you get as quick as you can? We're like yeah.
Speaker 1:So we're like racing down the way, picked up my man up to Gloucester and got to the hospital and then the weirdest part was actually going in the room with the consultant, a doctor and the chief nurse and everything else and they sit you down and basically have to take you through everything and say that they're going to have to sign forms to say yeah, unhook the machines and all that.
Speaker 1:And you know there's nothing you can do. Wow, there's literally. There's like there was no options and they said about 20 minutes, and it was pretty much to the minute about 20 minutes, fucking hell, and that was that. But yeah, so that was New Year's Eve.
Speaker 2:So that was your best New Year's Eve. When was your worst one then? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:That was the funniest one I've ever had.
Speaker 2:Oh, Larry, the stories we got from that one.
Speaker 1:I've always found New Year's Eve to be a bit of a letter down there. No-transcript, it's bullshit. It's a bullshit. So much fucking hype, so much expense. Yeah not very much also no go on. I told you about the one where we went to New York today. Yes, yes, you did have I said on here as well. I don't know tell it again.
Speaker 2:It's new year, I'll tell it again.
Speaker 1:Why not? It's new years. You know there might be some people who've not listened to the other episodes.
Speaker 2:No, surely not.
Speaker 1:That's what so we're talking 2000 2000 yeah year 2000, going into 2001, so it's just December 2000 and I was Sitting at work one day and I was it, I was training at college and I thought, you know, let's, let's organize a holiday. So I contacted my mates. I was like, look fancy going to New York. And they were like, yeah, well, if you can find a deal. But basically I said, you do all the fucking work and we'll go. I was like, okay, so I Found this deal with Stain in the youth hostel. There was a few of us going, as Duncan, who we mentioned before, there was our friend Rachel and Rachel and our friend Tom.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, oh god, yeah, marmalade. Yeah, he was there.
Speaker 1:and here's ex-girlfriend, a friend of ours called Craig Duncan's ex-girlfriend Sure, why not? She came, she was at the ex-girlfriend at the time as well, okay. And then Casconi and the other one of our friends the only one that wasn't there of a little friendship group was Darren, because he couldn't afford to go. But I paid for Rachel to go because at the time the thing for it and there's all that whole thing going on, oh, yeah, so I worked three jobs paid for, to go classic, and there's a. There's a story about that as well, but anyway, but so that's quite key to this story I paid for Rachel to go to New York, yeah, okay, okay. And we also went to see Miss Saigon on Broadway with Lea Salonga and Ricky Henshaw.
Speaker 1:Yeah, pretty cool. Mine Nan. The time. I think it lent the money for us to get the tickets and mine are Rachel's ticket and everything else. So we got over there and it's all good.
Speaker 2:We sort of split up already a bit of a mess, isn't it?
Speaker 1:when you're talking about that, well, yeah, so, so, yeah, so we're over there, all's well, all's good, everything's fine. I then started running out of money. So I said to Rachel, I said any chance I could get the money back for that ticket that my nan buys you. She took and went. I can't, because I owe cascading the money for a taxi we had yesterday. I was like Do the maths on that, like what the taxi you got on the holiday that I pay for, okay, but I know what she, I know what she meant. But at the time I was like you joking so then, and then she told me that she, she admitted that she loved me on that holiday and on the way back we sort of, you know, had a bit of a kiss on the plane. Should we say Um, I was always said shall we say that's what we did. We had a kiss on the plane, there's nothing else happened. It wasn't like the mile high club or anything. But let's get this cut to the chase.
Speaker 1:We were there halfway through the week. There was all fucking mighty snowstorm and it just the. The temperature dropped to minus 20. The snow was up to the roofs of the cars. It was like like a holiday, if it was a jest our eyes with like everything else covered up. It was so cold, but it's really really cool Because all the all the vents were steamed in, like in new york probably, you know, and it was the old school taxis back then as well.
Speaker 1:And so we went to town square For new year's eve to see the ball drop and do the whole big time square thing. On the way in there was lots of crowds. Rachel gets a panic attack because of all the crowds and has to leave. So she walks off with um emma and it is me and my mate craig there and and we're like, oh, we're supposed to be here together, a friend, we can't leave so. So we followed them to be with them and not get split up. So we ended up in an irish bar, I think round the corner, off a squat, off a time square, and watched the new year's eve ball drop on the tv in an irish bar and I ended up kissing Rachel. So I went all the way to new york to watch on the tv in an irish bar and kissed an english girl. What a fucking waste of time.
Speaker 2:Fucking hell man. That was a waste of time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I mean yeah. So, I am it. Well, I didn't know that Ruthie Henshaw was going to be in it. I only knew layers longer was being in it, and we had the play bill outside and I was like, can I have Ruthie Henshaw's in this as well? Um, but yeah, so that was a bit of a mixed bag. It was a great holiday and I definitely do. It sounds like.
Speaker 1:Yeah it sounds good. Yeah, it was. But um, but yeah, just thought, bad, I didn't take Darren. Yeah, I should have taken Darren. I've always with acid the running joke we got in our little friendship group and I should have fucking taken Darren.
Speaker 2:Well, instead of Rachel. Yeah yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that was a. That was a good new year's eve as well. A bit of a mixed bag. Um, what's your? What's your worst new year's eve one?
Speaker 2:Um, I mean, it could be any of them, to be honest, but I think one One of the worst ones has got to be the millennium, because there was such a build-up, everything like tripled in price, and my at the time I was at uni and like my it was. She was my ex then as well, so we'd split up for a little while, but it was this kind of like we're probably going to get back together, kind of thing.
Speaker 1:And the one beginning with the yeah, victoria, so I uh. She's not.
Speaker 2:Listening. If she is, what? Is she dead? Well, we can only. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm nothing again, I'm joking about nothing against her at all. For real, I've got nothing against her at all.
Speaker 1:Um, hey, you tell what we're all scared of the millennium bug as well. Fucking Malay. What a joke, what a farce. I wouldn't I've been thought is gonna happen. Yeah, I know, I think it was gonna crash.
Speaker 2:It was a farce, though, obviously. Cool, but you know, at the time we didn't know any. No, this is true, but yeah, so. So she said, oh well, yeah, I'll come to you in Leeds for new year, okay, and I'll bring. Can I bring my friend? I was like Sure.
Speaker 1:Hey, no, no yeah.
Speaker 2:So a friend came and then a brother came as well. I got really well, the brother was fine and, uh, it was just the weirdest, most anticlimactic bullshit evening was just this back and forth fellow yeah, oh, it's new year's, well, let's kiss, because we used to go out and it's new year's even Then new year came, so the next day she was like she did say to me oh I'd love if we could go back out and there's like cool, then within a month we were split forever.
Speaker 2:So it was a fucking waste of time. It was literally it was just shit. I was like this is just shit and I was paying, like I said, triple for everything. Fucking waste of time. The whole thing was a waste of time and ever since then I don't think I've had many when I'd go, and this is what I was going to say to you actually before. Like, for me, new year doesn't really start on the first of January. It obviously does Chinese?
Speaker 2:Yeah, did I not tell you For me, like Well, what I think of new year? My brain still goes to September and the new school year. There's no one else to do that. I don't know who I'm looking at Monty the cat.
Speaker 1:But obviously you know you can't see this. But one looked up, looked around the room as if there was like an audience, went Is anyone else think that that's, that's the theater, that's the actor, that's the theater in a minute.
Speaker 2:There's no one else. Think that all the Santas that are on my wall.
Speaker 1:He's talking to me. I've got.
Speaker 2:Santas all over the wall here little.
Speaker 1:No, I think that.
Speaker 2:Monty, monty just agrees. Monty's the eye greedy, no. But do you never get that like? When September starts, you get the urge to buy stationary unlike no really.
Speaker 1:I do and I feel like the years that you have to move on from school.
Speaker 2:No, well, maybe because my birthday is awesome September, so I've got a double one me, so it is a new year.
Speaker 1:Is that got to?
Speaker 2:do with stationery, though. Well, because everything's a new year for me, isn't it? From September, in fact, every was new year is different, isn't it? Unless your birthday falls on the same day, but, like your, new year starts at different times of my new year.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I suppose. Yeah, technically your personal year. Yeah, so mine starts in July. My mates birthdays on Christmas Day. Oh, I'm not fucking awful.
Speaker 2:Oh, waste time.
Speaker 1:Do you remember all your new year's eve's? Like going back as an adult. I Can remember mine pretty much back to about 97.
Speaker 2:I think if I sat there and like we are sat there. Yeah, so if I sit here now like I am, and I speak to the imaginary people that aren't here, they would all keep looking at someone.
Speaker 1:Are you looking at?
Speaker 2:this Santa's all over the wall. I keep doing it. I feel like I've got an audience, like everyone you came on. You Know if I, if I've really sat and thought about I, probably could think of most of them, but off the top of my head now I can't just list them, but like if I was to go to go back in turn, you know.
Speaker 1:I just think I think most of mine had just been. I mean, I told, I definitely told you this one. Remember that one I said about when I was 17 and I fancied the, the chef, that, or the cook I was working with at the hotel.
Speaker 2:Was that the 60-year-old?
Speaker 1:No, it was not the 60 year old, no, she was. She was like 20 something and I was like 17 and I had a big thing. But we had this big food fight in the after work once and I thought, oh, and then was Lindsay, I think, and we went round to the other one of the other local pubs in the New Year's Eve party and I thought, like tonight's, tonight I'm gonna kiss her and and then it comes in midnight she's got off for someone else and I was there like absolutely fucking devastated.
Speaker 2:My god, it doesn't it hurt like it hurts. Oh, what does it hurt more? I don't know. I'll say it feels like it hurts so much more At that age, though like everything. Oh god, yeah, it really did.
Speaker 1:Yeah, not had a lot of a lot of experience to get any heartbroken at that point. You know one or two things, but apart, you know I've told you about my ex-girlfriend who then was, you know, with the other guy outside the shop every time I went by. Yeah, so that was a year before, but, um, yeah, and I think like the year after that I was up in Bristol. We just sort of like tried to find, but I can't remember that one very well, the, the one going into Millennium 2000. I went out to university at Coventry's. My friend was at Coventry Uni.
Speaker 1:I got fucking a big patch of in beti go on my bloody face like this massive Plaster, like bandishing over my face and. I'm trying to get in beti go. What's that? It's like a skin thing, I guess, like it's really scabby and a bit pussy and like and red and not. It's just, it's horrible.
Speaker 2:It's like it's just you get a lovely.
Speaker 1:It, honestly, is fucking horrendous. I went up there and I'm there trying to talk to girls. It's big fucking patch. My thing bumped into my ex-girlfriend You're been seeing down in my hometown who's from Coventry, and she was with another guy and basically blanked me.
Speaker 2:Nice.
Speaker 1:So that was a fucking terrible news Eve as well.
Speaker 2:2001 was the Just spoken about 2002 into three.
Speaker 1:What was that one? Oh, that was the yeah. 2001 into 2002 was I was up in Liverpool living with my ex-racial he listens to this podcast and my friend Duncan came up and a random girl he worked with came round for a party my not and and then, yeah, I can go on, go on, but it's very boring, must be a lot of it.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna say he's just gonna go on for the next 20 years 2002 into 2003.
Speaker 1:We must have done. We must have done something that year to be.
Speaker 2:See, that's a pretty good thing. That was Sweeney Todd, wasn't it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, yeah, we're back to. Yeah, I don't know what we did that year.
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 1:We preen to fall we debt, we must three into four. We did because Was it four into? Who cares? There was one, remember, there's one, was it? Yeah, three into four was the one. We went out and went into Kingston. I went to McCluskey's and got a slap on the face on the dance floor.
Speaker 2:Yes, that probably was right. Yes, it is yeah, because I'm right, we got a snack.
Speaker 1:Yes, I was a bit drunk, got this girl and I got a bit handsy. Yeah, not in, not in a part. I wasn't trying to be, you know like that, but I just got bit of miss read the the situation and she slapped me on the face and I was like yeah, I deserve that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but yes, the news ease and not been not been amazing. I spent one on a cruise ship. That was quite cool I Did. I wasn't with my partner because she was back in, so that was a bit annoying. Last year I was, I was up at Panthe last year. So, yeah, yeah, what do we do? Oh, yeah, me and my mate Charlie. That's the night we went out to Sheffield and saw the woman eating all the eating the thing from the floor.
Speaker 1:Yeah, on the hands of these eating it out with a tub with that, with no hands. Yeah, so it's news. He's always just been really random. Yeah, I had a good rough in Manchester once when I was on tour and we went me and the missus went out to like the 1920s night and then I had a really nice New Year's Day the next day. But I just think they're overpriced. It's always a bit tins with like.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And then you always wake up New Year's Day with the best intentions but feeling like shit because you drank so much so you knew is. No one's ever gonna start their new years like Resolutions on New Year's Day, having drunk no, half a fucking you know bar of worth of alcohol the night before they fuck. They're just gonna try and get through it. Yeah, so that that leaves us nicely on to New Year's resolutions.
Speaker 1:Yes, it does, yes, it does. So I was gonna ask you. Then, juan, go on talking to news resolutions. I'm so successful as I Do. You have one or two news resolutions that you have made every single year that you've never Actually achieved, because I've got a couple of lists on my phone that go back from 2011 and 2012, so I was gonna look at those and see if I've actually achieved any of those. There's a couple.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's a couple fuck off, you must have loads. There's a couple consistently that I fail.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the that's the question yeah, which one?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, well, and there's one that I can't fail anymore. But there's a couple I say the couple I fail on, the one that I can't fail anymore. So the couple I've failed consistently since I left drama school was I do a big West End show and I Think it was like 50 to 100 grand that year or something like that. Those two that actually don't really go together either. I didn't know that at the time, but like that was like the two. And then the one that I also failed every year up until Couple of years ago where it no longer counts was based and this is one that I'd make in secret Was to sort my hair out. I was trying to get like some sort of laser treatment or something that would make my hair grow back. Some sort of miracle cure was always on my list of New Year's resolutions. Come on, I'm gonna find it's gonna be there. This year is gonna be the year, and obviously a couple of years ago I just Finally gave it on.
Speaker 2:I sorted it in a very different way than originally intended, but it sorted. So I guess you could say achieved it on some level. But yeah, I Talking of that.
Speaker 1:When are we ever going to get on that guys channel?
Speaker 2:I don't know. I must have been very interested.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't think I said anything particularly outlandish.
Speaker 2:Maybe I was just a bit too nice.
Speaker 1:You are our only hope. I know you should have gone on there and give the full sell. Help me, obi-wan Kenobi, jesus, yeah, so well, yeah. So getting the West End show, yes, sort of your hair out. You've done that then.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but not the way I intended. Sort of out your money, oh sure. That got me there every year. Yeah, oh yeah, sort of out, yeah.
Speaker 1:No, no, but that's one of your resolutions, surely?
Speaker 2:Every year, every year, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, wish you'd actually. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I said earn 5200,. But I was always like, yeah, I failed, that's why other ones I failed 5200 grand. Yeah, that's what I said. Yeah, yeah, that's how you used to always say every year.
Speaker 1:That's never going to happen. Yeah, fine.
Speaker 2:So along with the West End theatre thing was like I didn't realise, that those two didn't go together. Yeah, like fuck it. Yeah, totally Screwed.
Speaker 1:Well, I've just found my resolutions. It says resolutions for 2011.
Speaker 2:Oh, this is going to be depressing. 13 years ago now.
Speaker 1:First one on the list lose three and a half to four stone and in brackets, almost two stone to go. What have I got to use this year? That's seven. So that's gone up. Double that. So that's good. So the last one on the list would be interesting for you in this one Red belt or black tag in Taekwondo in brackets. No, I've obviously gone back and revisited these.
Speaker 2:No that never happened, nice Okay.
Speaker 1:Save a thousand pounds in brackets. No, still true. Last stages of X factor.
Speaker 2:Did you write that down? Nice, Fuck you L. That's a couple of it. That's a proper couple. I like it. Managed debt in brackets.
Speaker 1:Yes, cleared. But you know it depends. I look at it because I've got my car and I got an overdraft and I got you know. So I do have debt, but not in the way I had it before Get next acting job.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:In brackets and they're still true because I'm, you know well was to just get a car in brackets. No, but I can say yes now.
Speaker 2:Well done, so that was achieved eventually.
Speaker 1:And then the final one make progress learning a time. Brackets no, but I can now say yes.
Speaker 2:I'm playing it quite consistently, well done.
Speaker 1:Fucking hell. 2012 resolutions. What do you think is number top of number?
Speaker 2:that was loose three and a half. Loose three and a half.
Speaker 1:A year later same fucking goal. That's fucking art. But the funny thing is the year after that, in 2013, I did lose the weight.
Speaker 2:You did yeah.
Speaker 1:I went down after that thing and then sort out back teeth and knees. That's very generic. What, what? In what way Clear up skin? The other one cause I was suffering with a bit of psoriasis.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, that's the thing.
Speaker 1:Still have a bit of that. So that's gone well. Nice. Save money Nope, get employed as an actor again. Yeah, sort out tax. Yes, done that. Yeah, good, good one.
Speaker 2:Well then it's a bit like our 40 things you do at a time of 40. Just kind of fucking.
Speaker 1:Well we're going to come to that. Wait, wait, wait.
Speaker 2:But yeah Does anyone follow through in years resolutions? How many people like they're just designed to fail, aren't they? Cause you put down your grandest schemes, the biggest thing. No one puts down achievable thing like this year. I will put my trousers on every day Like something, fucking like something.
Speaker 1:You can do. Yeah, but I think I did put down achievable things and save a grand. Lose some weight, eat healthy. That is achievable, but still didn't fucking do it. Yeah, I guess so, but it's still like you're like put down 50 to 100 grand is fucking ridiculous.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you got a name. Hi, aren't you? It's not really things, that is, things that you hope you can do, and then you just tick a box and you're like fucking hell, I did it. It doesn't really seem that achievable, does it? But I don't think I don't know anyone that really achieves what they say, unless they're already fucking partway, unless they're almost there and they've got like 1% to go, is they can just tick a box. I think people are bullshitting themselves. There's no waste of time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I do think they're, um, yeah, you sort of destined to fail a bit. Having said that, are you going to make some for this year? Well, that's what I thought we should. Um, we should come on to in a bit, but before we do that, it's a nice time now to have our little usual feature, but a slightly different this year day, month, week, what was I talking about?
Speaker 2:Millennia.
Speaker 1:Millennia, it is time for the moon of the year. Go on, anyone. What is your moon of the year from 2023? What annoyed you?
Speaker 2:most about that year. Well, I had a moon of the week as well. No, no, it's just the moon of the year Cannot put moon of the week in as well?
Speaker 1:Did I say moon of the week? No, I didn't. Well, this annoys me, we even spoke about this before we started recording. With your moon of the year, I get to the feature, I do it and you come in with I've got a moon of the week, because I have one that really irks me, but never mind. Well, save it for next week, ok.
Speaker 2:On my moon of the year I think it's mine's quite general, it's just since COVID, and I've noticed it particularly this year. Just people just being cunts. What, yeah? In what way? Just in every way possible. If they can walk slowly across the road, they'll fucking walk slowly even if you fucking let them across.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're in a supermarket and like you're in a rush, they'll fucking slow down on getting your way. If you're running for a train, they fucking stop. If you wouldn't amount, no matter what it is, you'll fucking you'll let someone out in the car. Yeah, after you go on. Then you go first, driving in a 30 mile an hour zone. They drive 15 to 20. Why are you in such a fucking rush to get out? Then People that like are in this massive hurry or they have to get in front of you, get off the train. If you get off there and you go off first, go on then. If you're in such a fucking rush, so they get off and then they slow down to snail's pace, you can't get past them. Like what the fuck? People moaning and I'm when moaning, but people moaning about fucking shit. I'm like, well, you can do something about that. You cunt, shut up. It's fucking boring.
Speaker 1:It's boring. We're airing into pot kettle. Black territory for us with that one.
Speaker 2:We moan about stuff we can't really do much about.
Speaker 1:Come on be honest with yourself. Like money getting a career back being an organist. We can do everything we moan about. We can do something about it.
Speaker 2:No, the moan of the weeks we can't. Well, my moan of the weeks usually like this, can't go in the way when I was trying to do something I can't be honest about that. That stuff? No, no, I'm not talking about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, new Year's resolution shit yeah there's stuff we can do, of course, the 40 plus or minus.
Speaker 2:But like I'm talking about the modes of the week, Like I can't change the disabled parking base, I would if I could. You know you can. If you want a bit of paint. Yeah, that's true. What's the simple thing? Just add a wheel. Let's make it like a four by four fucking game. There says four by four.
Speaker 1:Well, just paint half the wheel and the top half and turn it into a J and then just write Juan.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is my name. You cannot see my name. But yeah, so that's. That's just my general mode of the year.
Speaker 1:For me it's just I know what you mean actually fucking bullshit that people have turned into since. Covid. Now I have noticed people with definitely more fucking irritating. Yeah, they're in terms of that, in terms of going slow, not giving a fucking, getting in your way, not being oblivious to anyone else's life. That's going on.
Speaker 2:Just, yeah, yeah, this is my time. Excuse me, I'm walking here. Excuse me, I've reserved this. No, I deserve this. No, you don't deserve shit. Get out of my way.
Speaker 1:I had two things recently. Down the local bit near us where the shops are, there's like these free parking spaces. You can park in front of the shops and you know there's no actual bays, people just parking at different levels and sometimes you can get a few cars and there's sometimes someone. Parts are going to absolutely prick and you can't get in. But I parked up there on Sunday I think it was with the missus and this car, this big fucking Rolando. Everything came and squeezed in the tiny gap next to us. It was like a slanted part of the pavement to the point where my partner couldn't get out of the car, like he couldn't open the door. So I got out. This is the thing as well. I've got this ability now where I lack of ability to actually stop saying what I want to say.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's cool.
Speaker 1:It's just going to be a bit dangerous now. But I got out of the car and just walked around the back and she was there and I just went. Yeah, my partner can't get out of the car. She went oh, so sorry, I'm just rushing because my dad's disabled, you can't get out of the car. I was going to quickly get him an ice cream.
Speaker 1:I got this ice cream parlor there and I felt a bit bad then, but she was really lovely and I was fine, and so I just came out to check and said it's just because, I said, but then there was room for me to actually move the car. So I said I'll move the car and we had a quite nice chat in the end. But I was like fucking hell. And then same place the other night. It was dark, I was going along looking for a space, saw one put the brakes on, there's no cars behind me and this fucking mother of fucking tiny toddler walked out in the road and almost almost got hit by me. So then I reversed back to, then indicated and went in and then went to go into the space. Couldn't actually get the right angle, so I started reversing and then she walked behind the fucking car as I was reversing.
Speaker 1:And she was in the car next to me and I couldn't help it. I got out of the road and went just let you know I couldn't actually see you. Then she was like oh wow, I did not, you were up to. I went well, I was trying to park us a bit. I said you're quite dark clothing, I said. I said I almost ran you over. She went well, I'm glad you didn't. I went well, I'm glad I didn't, I said, because otherwise your kid would be dead.
Speaker 2:She looked to me.
Speaker 1:I said especially, and then I went especially as your only 50 meters from across in a, but then across the road like where we were, and I think, well, that's kind of just fuck that argument. I didn't use the crossing. I'm like shit, I should have used the crossing.
Speaker 2:But that, honestly, going on that, like the number of times I drive down from here and it's dark, obviously what this happens a lot, you know because it gets dark earlier now, so I'm driving down, I'm sort of looking in the mirror. Is that someone on a bike? You've got a dark, a dark bike with someone wearing dark clothing, often with like a hood up. I can't. Are you kidding me? I can't see any. You can't see shit. Like they just cycle along.
Speaker 2:No lights, no anything. I'm like you deserve to be hit by a car.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they do. There's a cut through road coming back from that area which you can go up and it's like a single track, tiny, tiny, narrow road which is one way, 20 miles an hour, just to cut through to the back roads and to go home. People can walk down there, but this is like one guy the other night is walking along, all black clothing I don't know if he was like really old or drugged up or something but just walking along pitch black. And I saw him at last minute and I was only going 20s. I was a Biden by the speed limit but it was, um, I was like you're fucking stupid walking down here like that. There's no, you know, no high vis, no lights, nothing. So, yeah, I agree, the people are fucking irritating in 2023.
Speaker 2:People being cut.
Speaker 1:Mine is quite an obvious one really. It's just the fucking cost of living. I've said it before, but I've never really been like and I'm from a working class background and I suppose you know being actors and doing stuff like you kind of mixed classes a bit, don't you? You can mix it all sorts and it's sort of think of yourself in different ways. But I would call myself, you know, working class background and, um, although I suppose, based on where I was as a child, even though I don't have money, I would say my lifestyle is pretty middle class now, with the sort of I've got a nice car and you know that sort of stuff. So I would, I would say that.
Speaker 1:But anyway, but I've never really and I suppose I've been lucky in this I've never really noticed too much of a difference. Whoever's in power, whoever I want to, you know, whoever I side with, and nothing's really affected life that much in terms of, you know, like it's never been, like I've never been in this or demographic. That has noticed it enough, you know, and maybe that's a lucky thing to say. But I mean, obviously, when we're younger, when I was one, you know, mom was one parent, family and stuff, but this last year. Fuck me man. It's like I don't think. I think even people that would normally not have been noticing were just noticing it now just to go to the shop just to get.
Speaker 1:Do you remember like? But I remember going back in the we're talking probably 20 years ago, so it's a bit of a stupid analogy but I used to go back and get 20 or 30 pounds to get you a weak shop in Tesco's. If you were a bit frugal with it and doing the Tesco value stuff and everything else, do you have a weak shop. Now it's nearly 100 quid. Yeah, yeah, it's just absolutely, absolutely ridiculous. You know, it's just like so much money. I mean everything, everything costs so much money. Now.
Speaker 1:And the deal even like when tickets are reduced, you get the yellow stickers on there. I'm like what do you mean? That's? Oh, it's reduced, it's a two pound 80. And like what was it before? It's like it's going off today. It's like a pack of I don't know like four muffins or something, or like a loaf of bread. It's still like two pound 50. And like and then all these fucking deals they do with it, with the club cars and stuff, like, oh, club car price is this, so it should be seven pounds but you can get it for three. It's like no, it should have been three anyway. You fucking idiot.
Speaker 2:Honestly it's. It's Sainsbury's. I'll tell you something. The Sainsbury's near me, like it's a it's not a local, it's a relatively big one and like whatever's going on, obviously, like they, you know, with the whole cost of living, the prices increase. People just generally can't afford it. So the food is staying on the shelf a lot longer, so the things are permanently reduced. All the stuff seems to be doing is going around putting labels on things, putting them in the reduced aisle. There's so many things in the reduced aisle they're just having to leave them in the aisles now, just reducing them all. But it's not working, is it? Obviously it's not working. People can't afford it. They're not buying it. So therefore you're having to reduce everything down to either it's original price or lower. But there's no reporting on it anymore. So no one's kind of going oh, we're really sorry, this is the reason. It's just like, oh yeah, everything's really high and you're all fucked, okay.
Speaker 1:We've always been in this country. Like looking at other countries in the news they say, oh, you know poverty here and starvation there. That's us now We've got like. I mean I don't want to get too political and too serious on this podcast, but like so many people living in poverty and children and stuff in this country, I'm like how, how the fuck in the UK? Hello have we got children and then you go to every shop and there's like a food bank being in there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they are.
Speaker 1:What is going on, man Like this, is we've got enough money in this country for people not to be doing that. Of course it's just the way it's been run. Anyway, doing it we start. You're not gonna say that's just Britain, are you Soon after Britain?
Speaker 2:Soon after Britain.
Speaker 1:Mind you. You could fucking say I mean, we've had fucking 20 fucking Prime Ministers.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's the same bullshit.
Speaker 1:None of them fucking voted in who are these bastards?
Speaker 2:It's all the same shit. Whoever you voted, it's all the same fucking bullshit.
Speaker 1:I know you, but there's gotta be a revolution. Up the revolution. Lame is come on. Fucking hell yeah so, yeah, cost of living Like you used to 20 quid used to get you somewhere. I remember going out with when I was with my ex-girlfriend. We lived in Liverpool. We went out into Liverpool and Barry might have lived in Liverpool, was that north 2001. Yeah, we had pre-drinks at home, as yours do, I'd say. Now you call it pre's, don't they? That's pre's now.
Speaker 2:Do they?
Speaker 1:Oh, fucking darling. Yeah, we have it in pre's years ago. Oh, it's just in pre's. Oh, fuck off.
Speaker 2:Just can't you speak anymore. Just say the fucking word. Yeah, should have drinks beforehand. Should have pre's.
Speaker 1:So yeah. So we had drinks at home, Got a taxi into central Liverpool. We had more drinks, some food. We then went on to another bar. We then went to a nightclub. We then came out, we had a burger. We went with it. We then went to a lap dancing club Fuck yeah.
Speaker 1:And we had drinks in there and got a couple of dances just for fun why not? And then we came back out, got a taxi home and went to bed, woke up in the next morning I'm not joking I still had 20 quid in my pocket. And then that size up, one of those, oh, when I was like still had chains for a shilling.
Speaker 2:I couldn't believe it.
Speaker 1:I was like how the fuck of us, I think I only took out, like I don't know, 50, 60 quid, something like that. It was nothing and it was obviously we spent like that each probably. But I'm like how no, honestly, you wouldn't even. I mean, you'd probably get a taxi.
Speaker 2:But I know I can, I can. I know what you did there. You used your card at the same time. No, I didn't.
Speaker 1:No, there wouldn't have been anything in my account then, probably.
Speaker 2:I used to do that. Did you ever used to do that? Though, in that same thing you'd go right, I'm going to bring out, say 40 quid, right, and that's all I'm going to spend, and then you get a part way. Oh, I said, I don't need to spend this. I don't want to say, I'll just put this on card.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Fucking, I used to be fucking terrible at that. Every time a student loan came in I was like, oh, we got fucking Mr Money. Oh, you're like yeah, you start making it rain everywhere.
Speaker 2:You think you had fucking, you think you'd have a fortune and you're like, yes, Cause I used to see it in terms of, like student loan care. How many drinks can I buy with this?
Speaker 1:And you carry on drinking. Well past, when you didn't you already fucking have it. You got to drink still to go through your system Like oh yeah, you could bottom there. Well, I wasn't Yeagerbombs back then, but it was like whatever you were doing and then you'd have the inevitable kebab and the chips.
Speaker 2:I have to say I've never. I think I've had a kebab maybe twice, three times in my life. Well, yeah, I never. I used to have a burger. I never had kebab.
Speaker 1:I don't like kebabs, you'd have the burger and you'd have the chips and everything else, and then you get the taxi home and then on the way home I'd go to the 24 hour fucking Tesco's and I start buying bread and hummus and DVDs, dvds, yes, dvds, they were a classic. I wake up in the morning and be like, oh, what have I bought now, like fucking, but out of my face go, oh, I'm gonna buy that. Like fucking, absolute idiot, like just spend like hundreds of pounds. Do you think? Well, for what? For what? But then back then you could, because everything you know you could afford it. That's back in the 10 pounds or you can drink days, woo.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, when I was at uni you castle Hazy days.
Speaker 2:Like when I first got there and they changed this because they said I think they said it was dangerous, but it was 50 pence a pint. 50 pence a pint, yeah, and they went up to a pound a pound a pint. In the student union it was one pound 50 for a like a double vodka, red bull, oh, I, like a double kind of any spirit and mixer was one pound 50. What's that about? How did I not fucking die? How did I not die at uni?
Speaker 1:Yeah, but mate you, we've said it before, but we used to drink like a liter bottle of sherry, like a like a.
Speaker 2:What the fuck was that about? The?
Speaker 1:cheap versions each before we even went out.
Speaker 2:And that fucking sangria you made that one time, oh Jesus. A saucepan and sangria each, and plus a fourth one between three of us.
Speaker 1:And that was before we went out, and like it's still all the time, like drink a bottle of vodka between us, or we went out and stuff, and then you get on it and then you do shot, and then like I don't know how we didn't die, but my cats attacking me at the moment oh nice, he's doing that like boxing, and I you know you tell people these stories.
Speaker 2:Sometimes it looks like sounds like you're making it up?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it does, and that's what I mean I hate about being this age, because you talk about that and people go, oh yeah. You go, oh yeah, because it's like we've all met those people. We go oh, when I was young I was going to do all this stuff. You're like, oh, did you Great? You know, like there's people in the pubs that are like, oh yeah, I fucking used to run it and it just makes you feel like you're being one of those people. But we genuinely, we genuinely did.
Speaker 2:That's part of the reason I stopped drinking, other than the fact that I think when I was going with my ex and it just you know, I couldn't be bothered after a while because just what we do yeah yeah, I was just drinking and it was like because there was always arguments, there's always that like stress and anxiety, like levels, rows after alcohol.
Speaker 2:So I was like mother, regardless of that, like I had such a big, like large capacity for alcohol, I could take so much alcohol. I just thought I just don't think I want to do this anymore to my body. Like I just didn't want to do it. Like I remember it got really bad at uni, but the time when I knew I was in trouble not like from a you know any kind of like oh, this is psychological perspective. But when I thought I could drink so much is when I drank a full bottle of vodka before I left the house with like a load of Red Bull and shit. Then I went into the like to the key. Like the key side in Newcastle had a jug of vodka, red Bull, which was 10 shots of vodka, three cans of Red Bull myself carried on drinking the rest of the night.
Speaker 2:Don't remember any of it. Like I remember chatting to random people. I apparently was having very lucid conversations. I could remember vague faces and the odd shirt of someone I was chatting to. I work the next day. I felt a bit rough, but not terrible, and I just thought, yeah, there's something wrong here. I should be able to do that. I should be dead, and that's what I decided. Maybe I should slow down a bit.
Speaker 1:I think you can. Just I mean, when you're younger you can take it, cause I remember being I think I might have told this one before, actually but me and my ex-Rachel we were. I was living in my shared house in Bristol and I remember in the front bedroom where I'd moved into at that point and we had a here's a liter or a liter and a half the biggest bottles of vodka, and it was like the it was slightly bigger ones, the least I mean.
Speaker 2:you get those ones a lot ridiculous. They're a liter and a half or two liters.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I think it was the liter one.
Speaker 2:Like the bigger, the biggest one, yeah, the big one.
Speaker 1:But no, but it wasn't smirking off, it's something like you know check off or something like that, smirking off Delta man, yeah, and we had just gone on night out and we decided just just to fucking shots, do shots for that. But she was doing normal shots and I was doing doubles and maybe triples. So every single time she did a single one, I did double the triple and I, honestly, we did it and we net the whole, nearly the whole bottle. I think we probably had about two to three inches left in the bottle and then we had to run across the road. So I lived opposite the bus stop and get on the bus.
Speaker 1:It was like a 20, 20 minute, 25 minute journey into central Bristol. By the time I got into Bristol I was fucking bollocks and I went into the phone box to call someone. I fell backwards out of the phone box onto the fucking pavement, jesus, and then got up and then, like two meters down the road, we bumped into my old dance teacher who was like at the time. He's no longer with us now, but I was like, I bet you, and I don't really remember the rest of the night after that. I think I was probably sick somewhere and like but why? Why do we think like that? So I couldn't be bothered now.
Speaker 2:I just couldn't be asked no.
Speaker 1:I could not be bothered. I don't think we bother with New Year's Eve parties stuff anymore either.
Speaker 2:No, maybe go to someone's house, maybe, but only if I knew them really well. I can't be bothered with the whole like come to a random party, oh hello, this is my friend. This is my friend. I'm done already Once you get past the one person that I have to meet. I don't want to meet anymore, and even then it's borderline.
Speaker 1:Was it New Year's Eve that we went round to? Yeah, new Year's Eve, 2008, I think when we were at that party, when there was like fireworks in the back garden, it was like, I think, emily's house, and was that 2008? Was that New Year's Eve?
Speaker 2:Oh, it could have been. Yeah, it was, it was.
Speaker 1:New Year's Eve. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, yeah. Because me and the Mrs now we're sort of liking each other, but we weren't together then.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And yeah, I remember that she got in the shopping trolley that night. She was very drunk, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was fun yeah so fuck you now.
Speaker 1:Anyway, I tell you what then, to finish off? To finish off this fantastic 2024 New Year's Day edition of 40 Plus and Minuses podcast. So let's go back to Season One. Who I'm gonna take you all the way back to just a few months ago, doodloodloodlood. So that's the fact. Like Rick Rick, rick Reeves, I'm done from above.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I didn't know where I was going with that tune. It was about to go to Twilight Zone, then Doodoo, doodoo, doodoo. I thought not. It's Twilight Zone In Season One we did.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've just sort of a twist on this Season One. We did 40 things every 40 year old should have done and we went through the list of them and we had to look and see what we should have done and there's actually quite a bit on that list that we didn't do or hadn't done A lot yes so.
Speaker 1:I think our New Year's Eve resolutions or New Year's Day resolutions should be to pick three things off that list for each other. How about that that you have to do as a New Year's resolution this year? You have to set the other persons Fuck it up. Look at him wussing out. Already he's like always pulling a face.
Speaker 2:Three. I've got one. Three's a lot, three's not a lot. Well, I haven't managed any fucking New Year's resolutions up to this point in my life, so yeah, but I mean, you know there's quite a few things that are normal, that we could have done that we hadn't. All right, Flatly say I will not be giving blood. Oh, you fucking wuss. Well, I'm just saying before we start we'll not be giving blood.
Speaker 1:There you go. That's just showing you up for who you are again, isn't it?
Speaker 2:Give a fuck. I'm not giving blood, I'm not giving fucking blood. I like it where it is.
Speaker 1:One day, someone you care for was gonna need blood and you'll be like, oh, I wish I gave it.
Speaker 2:Well, I'll give it then. No, you wouldn't here. I have some blood pens here, isn't it?
Speaker 1:It was Monty then. Okay, so you have to volunteer somewhere. That's one of your resolutions. So do I volunteer everywhere, mate? No, no, you have to volunteer somewhere. Like you have to find something, it could just be a one-off thing. Don't have to do a committed thing, but a volunteer thing.
Speaker 2:All right, I mean probably an animal charity thing, because I fucking hate people.
Speaker 1:Whatever you want. You have to just do like an actual, like a bona fide volunteer thing, either a one-off thing or a whatever. Okay, and then have a one night statin' oj. Hahaha. Done Overpay on your mortgage, sure, get a satch from your job.
Speaker 2:Skinny dipping?
Speaker 1:No, yeah, volunteer is one of them, and then we'll give you one more, so do two each.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I can't see this list. I don't have it in front of me, so I'm going to have to.
Speaker 1:So save three months salary, but I think that's pretty hard in the year for us. I'm going to say save one month salary for you, okay. So by the end of next year, the new year's day next year, you need to have one years, a one months salary in bank. So yours is yeah, so volunteer somewhere and do one month salary and savings which is, let's call it Grand, let's call it two grand and a half one thousand five hundred let's say two, All right.
Speaker 2:I don't know why I said that. I just felt like I had to just go fifty, nine hundred.
Speaker 1:This is the problem. This is why you're not achieving your goal.
Speaker 2:No to grand, fuck it. Let's do two grand. All right to grand, so that should be here first. That's a loser achievement.
Speaker 1:New year's day. Two thousand yeah, it's not there. For what at the moment? Let's keep it real. It's a new year's day, 2025. One of our two thousand pounds in savings and will have volunteered somewhere.
Speaker 2:What a great guy. I love that by fucking February.
Speaker 1:Lucky you, fucking wait. Anyway, okay, so I need to know, I need to know, so I can't see this list. You got some read about me bought a house Definitely not gone. Traveling, definitely not being married, my kid potentially had a child potentially.
Speaker 2:No, that's illegal.
Speaker 1:How do you get on to Peter, peter, every fucking episode, jesus Christ.
Speaker 2:I'm just looking at you.
Speaker 1:Um, read a book written a book, yeah, yeah, being whale watching. Just look in the mirror being sacked from the job. There's potential. I'm just about to start a job which is a needs, a needs master job in a call centre. Oh, look at you. Yeah, fucking, you've achieved, yeah, gone back 15 years in my life instead of going forward. So it's good potential. I could have been sacked from that job because one lot when I used to work in a call centre before, I used to fucking Do like voices like Frank Spencer, yeah, so you should be able to do it back then as well. I can't do it now.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna give you the same savings one. That's, that's, that's. I think that's the we should both do.
Speaker 1:Okay, we're both did it. Okay, we're both to the saving one. Yeah, I reckon I'm gonna say had a child, let's do it oh.
Speaker 2:But we can't, we're not compatible.
Speaker 1:We can make it work, is they okay? We'll ask you one must. Well, I've done most of written a will. What's the fucking point? I've got nothing to leave. Hangover makes you want to quit drinking. Done that, donated blood, done that? Had your heart broken? Yeah, volunteered already. Oh, you can do that. Have your heart broken. I Am gonna be volunteering again this year. I'm gonna be doing hospital radio again.
Speaker 2:Oh, one second. Oh, I can see a sate hood flying down from above.
Speaker 1:Oh, so bitter.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, just saying right, okay, so you got savings and have your heart broken.
Speaker 1:No, they're savings and there's secured your dream job. Oh, oh, yes, that's kind of yeah, savings and secure dream job, because I'm gonna get back to that fucking theater right and what's mine against savings and Volunteer somewhere, and I'll put in the bonus one of me having a child by then, as in like, maybe on the on the whales. Why do I want that? Well, because you can look after it. I'm too busy volunteering giving blood. Look after you too busy doing your dream job to look after some little shit.
Speaker 1:There we go. That was our new year's day edition of 40 plus and minus his podcast season three. But I I've got one.
Speaker 2:I've got one more thing. Oh, go on, we should make news resolutions for 40 plus and minus podcast.
Speaker 1:Oh, yes, double figure listeners.
Speaker 2:To two.
Speaker 1:So what? Here's the news resolution.
Speaker 2:Then I said we could just ask one of their friends. We've doubled it.
Speaker 1:No, the news resolution for us is to either learn how to or get someone to do our fucking social media for us and grow the audience.
Speaker 2:Yes, the end of this year.
Speaker 1:We'll probably be on season whatever by then because we're doing we might increase the episodes per season. Maybe we'll see how it goes. But yeah, we need to be getting 500 downloads per episode. That's the end of the year, I think. Double thousand, oh no, no, I was. I was worried about saying 500.
Speaker 2:Think big thousand hard.
Speaker 1:That's hard, hard, hard to get.
Speaker 2:Thousand. Anyone could do 500. Go on then. We haven't done it so far. I've chosen lots of so far.
Speaker 1:What's your business strategy for that? Please come and listen, please. You've bought a book on how to write a blog that's gone.
Speaker 2:Well I know how. Right now I just need a platform. How many have you done?
Speaker 1:I'm still not convinced. Blogs are like. I just don't. Who reads blogs? Well?
Speaker 2:no, because, well, we have a mutual friend that has a very successful blog.
Speaker 1:And yeah, yeah, but then he's very niche what he's blogging about.
Speaker 2:So we Know, we're not not quite as nice. No, we're nowhere near niche, we are. He's coming on as a. Oh, that should be ours.
Speaker 1:Okay, guess, ah yeah, because, um, the other friend of us talking about who we'd have to go into a theater in London for he, he off his own back. Yes, they said, I'm sorry, a bit of a crap, let's derange it.
Speaker 2:Okay, and I've already asked you yeah, so we will have guests.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we'll have guests on. We'll also try and get Ryan Reynolds and Rob to come on on you part, of course, why wouldn't they? Genius social media for me, the expert as I thought you know what? Let's do a joke about Robin Rhett and Ryan Partnering with us and then realizing it's not, because obviously you know they might pick it up and then share it. And then 50 million followers that Ryan's got, obviously, because he's got 50 million followers. No one's gonna see that fucking post. No, okay, fucking Nats, fart and a hurricane.
Speaker 2:So yeah, we only need one percent of those and we'll be legends. What five thousand or 50 million? Be 500,000 50,000 50,000.
Speaker 1:Yeah, be 500,000. Oh, yeah, what I suppose you would you 50, 50 million, five million? Yeah, fucking hell 500,000. I can do that.
Speaker 2:So we want 500,000 listens a week by the end of the year.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we'll be. We'll be out doing diary of a CEO Easy, what is that anyway? That's what I might do, see if Steve Bartlett will come on, because he's not, he's 30, so we can say right. It's what this is what you're in for. He's done all those fucking things like this and he's only just Anyway, but yeah, so the news resolutions for the podcast is to increase our listenership to minimum of 500 per episode.
Speaker 2:Learn and social media, or get someone to do it for us and Get guests on but I know I'm gonna say but did we give our own news resolutions? We just gave each other them. Do you have anything specific?
Speaker 1:Well, just to, to get back into, into the shows, to lose about three and a half Money and get to last the rounds of expats. Yeah, no, just genuinely to. It's not about losing weight to get healthy and to get fit. Regardless of weight. I'm not thinking about weight now. I'm just trying to get healthy and lose, lose fat, lose. Yeah, that's all I'm gonna do about the weight of it, which ultimately will lose weight. But yeah, lose fat, get fit, get back into a show and, yeah, just just Stay young sounds good.
Speaker 2:That sounds like a good ending, oh. Yeah, yours you, that's mine, stay young.
Speaker 1:We can't have. That's mine.
Speaker 2:I've stolen it. No, actually mine was not in my head because mine are very similar. Get back to theater. Get back to shows. You know how do you get a TV job? That's it. Grow your hair back, grow my hair back, all the things that are achievable.
Speaker 1:I mean, how do they grow crests? Because that seems to work quite well. Yeah, I thought about that once. I'm having crests of hair.
Speaker 2:Crescent head, you should do it. You kid, did you make little people that they're crescent?
Speaker 1:in a neck up. Yeah yeah, yeah. It'd be so easy.
Speaker 2:Would I take a pill though I don't know if I would know a pill that would regrow my hair for good. I Plot I'd have to. I think I'd have to, but I'd always be worried he's gonna fall out again. If there were guarantees, I think.
Speaker 1:I probably, I don't know. It's always fucking side effects. I only want the side effects. Yeah, if there were none, I guess, if there were none for sure, no side effects. Yeah, god, yeah, I mean, if I there's a pill to go, here's a full, thick head of hair for the rest of your life, no fucking double crown, and actually some texture, I'd be like, yeah, give it to me. Now, I don't care if it's a suppository, I'll fucking take it. If it's what Suppository, I still fucking have it. I wish there was a pill for like just like To melt away. I mean, there are pills like this, but I mean actually like a magic pill, instant pill injection that they're spacing magics away all your fat. That pill be fucking amazing. I'd be like, yeah, bring it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, bring it on that note. I'm gonna wrap up because a I've got to go off and do shit. It's a new year, new start.
Speaker 2:John.
Speaker 1:I've got a fucking edit all this shit. So fair, um right, I will. Yeah, we'll see you next week on the eighth Is it the eighth of January? Although we won't be on the eighth of January? But you know what I mean. For, yeah, next year, next week's podcast, who knows, it might be a guest there, might be, might not might not be.
Speaker 2:Might not be.
Speaker 1:Yeah well, have a lovely new year's day, one I will. I can't wait too much and Watch the watch a film or something and, you know, maybe start researching where you can volunteer. Well, you should do fucking radio as well. That'd be easy one. Can we ask you could do a workshop at like a community group for kids or something? That'd be a fucking something with it.
Speaker 2:Or work shopping. What?
Speaker 1:you could volunteer and do like a free fucking fitness thing and the part for people you can. I don't know you do something like that, it's easy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, then once you've got, you have to mean it though, don't you? Because then, once you do it once, you have to go back and do it again, like no, no, is it one-off thing just just mine will be a one-time only deal.
Speaker 1:My mate, my mate they used to work with who wants to come on as a guest as well? Mike, hi, mike. He runs Winchester Fit Club. So you go down and you could do a fucking session there for free. What's?
Speaker 2:Winchester Fit Club there. Have a guess yeah, but is it specifically for people who don't have money, or is it just a fitness? No, they fucking pay for it.
Speaker 1:It's like he's a personal trainer and he runs it and they sort of work out around Winchester at different locations and sort of Outside training and that sort of stuff. But yeah, you could do that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I see volunteers like so, like philanthropy though, isn't it like? So you kind of like to try and give back Something?
Speaker 1:he's giving back. Yeah, so volunteer is just working, doing something for free, you know.
Speaker 2:I'll do that all the time they don't, yeah, do what after loads of free theater in my time?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. Well, there you go. You could volunteer to do some fundraising. Go shake the old pots outside the test. Anyway, you got a year to work out. Okay, cool, so we'll check in. It's time next year and you can't make it up either. You have to fucking our pre. You have to have pictures. I will know what you'd be like. Oh yeah, did the things.
Speaker 2:Christmas Eve next year I'll be running around going shit. I still haven't volunteered, course you are New Year's Eve.
Speaker 1:you like shit right now? Can I help you cross?
Speaker 2:the road, please. Yeah, I'll be getting my fucking badges with my scouts badges, volunteering badge.
Speaker 1:Oh, I wonder if we should do. We should do 40 plus and minus badges, and then we have to go out and do stuff to earn our badges and let's do it, I like it. We make up categories.
Speaker 2:I like it let's take a picture if you haven't done it. Yeah, I like it. Let's do that.
Speaker 1:Call it the gouts instead of the scouts, something that's something to be told, or the cut the chubs, the chubs fucking.
Speaker 2:oh, yeah, sure, why not? Why not?
Speaker 1:Oh, so actually, before we go to set us up for this brand new year 2024, is time for the 40. Plus and minus is Pearl of Wisdom.
Speaker 2:A squirrel's nuts. Do not a trifle make.
Speaker 1:Correct, informative as well, yeah, I mean there's, there's two, there's two possible meanings to that. That's what I was going to my head.
Speaker 2:I wasn't going for the nuts, the yeah, leave you pondering that thought, see you next week.
Speaker 1:See you later.