Merry Christmas One and All! Juan and Jon are back with their Xmas Special - Bumper Edition!
Grab yourself a mince pie and a mulled wine and enjoy!
Please rate and share this episode if you enjoyed it. This really helps us grow the pod!
If you have any questions for us, please email: 40plusandminuses@gmail.com
Follow us at the following @40plus_and_minuses_podcast
Please rate and share this episode if you enjoyed it. This really helps us grow the pod!
If you have any questions for us, please email: 40plusandminuses@gmail.com
Follow us at the following @40plus_and_minuses_podcast
Merry Christmas One and All! Juan and Jon are back with their Xmas Special - Bumper Edition!
Grab yourself a mince pie and a mulled wine and enjoy!
Please rate and share this episode if you enjoyed it. This really helps us grow the pod!
If you have any questions for us, please email: 40plusandminuses@gmail.com
Follow us at the following @40plus_and_minuses_podcast
Please rate and share this episode if you enjoyed it. This really helps us grow the pod!
If you have any questions for us, please email: 40plusandminuses@gmail.com
Follow us at the following @40plus_and_minuses_podcast
Ho, ho Ho, green Giant. No, it's the wrong.
Speaker 3:So that's the wrong dude. He's the standing.
Speaker 2:Oh, a merry Christmas to one and all.
Speaker 3:Indeed from tiny, tiny John Tony.
Speaker 2:John, that's what my ex-girlfriends call me. I'm a current one, to be honest.
Speaker 1:She would if she was talking to you. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, get old tiny John and his huge sack Just before something really large, oh my.
Speaker 3:God, oh, my God, stars in me to go on. Oh, merry Christmas.
Speaker 2:Merry Christmas. You opened your presents yet, Juan? No, I haven't, John. I was sticking with the fact we're not recording this in November. I haven't opened mine yet either.
Speaker 1:Oh dear.
Speaker 2:Oh, there we are. This is it Our first ever Christmas special? Oh, is it a Christmas special.
Speaker 3:Well, is this going to go out like to one, like to the world, like only fools and horses.
Speaker 2:There will be millions of people around the world on Christmas morning getting up and so excited going oh my God. But 40 plus and minus is Christmas. Special has dropped and they will get gather the family round and the dogs and the grannies and the aunties, and they'll get a nice little breakfast baffles and that I can see it.
Speaker 3:I can see it in my mind's eye.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, the fire the fire be roaring, the trees will be glistening on the tree. I was about to say the trees will be glistening on the lights. What a prick. The lights will be twinkling on the tree and grandma be falling asleep already, even at seven o'clock in the morning. Yeah, fantastic and then they'll hear our dulcet tones. Yeah.
Speaker 3:My grandma is probably asleep. Yeah, mine is.
Speaker 2:I feel like we'll become a Christmas tradition for many.
Speaker 3:I think we will, I think we already are they just don't know it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so we both got ourselves a Christmas-y type of drink. You've got a. What have you got?
Speaker 3:Well, I did have a gingerbread latte type thing that I yeah Nice, I don't know. But I've stopped drinking it because Monty took a liking to it and I turned around to see him licking the top of it, like all the foam of the top. I was like I love my cat but I don't really want to share a drink with him.
Speaker 2:So yeah, oh, you don't love him that much, then I'd share drinks with mine. In fact I do. No, I don't. I'll be honest. They drink my water and various drinks all the time.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I didn't have to change it, although I did drink that cat water once, if you remember.
Speaker 3:No, what was that?
Speaker 2:I told you on the podcast when on the table where in the living room where I eat my dinner off of the cat, has a pint of water on there because that's what you like to drink from.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, yeah, I reached for the wrong one and then dandled the cat water and, like my, mrs was absolutely pissing herself Because she's incontinent.
Speaker 2:No, she's not.
Speaker 3:What did you get for Christmas? Incontinence. Tracy Tenner we call her Her name's, not.
Speaker 1:Tracy. I don't know why I call her that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's good to say that as we go nappy for Christmas.
Speaker 2:So you've got a chai latte.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I did have a chai latte. Monty had some of it, so I don't anymore.
Speaker 2:Well, he said, you said gingerbread just now, then which one is it? Yes, it's a gingerbread chai latte. Oh fucking hell.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, it's gone all out. It's all the rage. And sorry, john, what have you got?
Speaker 2:Caramel hot chocolate Very Christmassy.
Speaker 3:Very Christmassy, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2:It's like rabbits on the cup.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So not Easter, then no.
Speaker 3:It's an.
Speaker 2:Easter themed caramel, christmas hot chocolate. Anyway, here we are, christmas 2023. I will be, I will be, I am. I am in the midst of Panto as we speak, although I'll be back in Wales having a Christmas dinner, probably, but yeah, so I thought we'd get through some pretty good Christmas content, this episode being the Christmas special one. What do you think?
Speaker 3:I think so because we all know. Well, we may not know, but for those who don't know, and for those who know me but don't know me that well, but we're quite surprised by it is that Christmas is my favourite time of year.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is, and I think that's probably because you became the centre of attention, got all the presents.
Speaker 3:I think it's because I was fat and there was loads of food.
Speaker 2:And they got you some new clothes that you could fit in. Each year yeah, basically every year the clothes just expanded.
Speaker 3:I've got new elastic in the trousers. Oh, those are the days. What have you got for Christmas? One, oh, fantastic, strong elastic. That's amazing. Double straight. Thanks Dad, double straight oh.
Speaker 2:What was that?
Speaker 1:Theth, theth, theth, that elastic. Yeah, I can say that, yeah, that'd be even the Christmas time, Right?
Speaker 2:so let's start off with a very special Christmas mode of the week. Alright, Juan, this is going to be very difficult for you having the mode of the week about Christmas because you love it so much. I've kind of got two. Can I have two? Yeah, of course you can.
Speaker 3:Christmas okay, yeah, here's your. Yeah, my first mode of the week is Christmas related. They both are.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:Is people who dislike Christmas. Oh, what a surprise you about to get it, because what's not to like? Okay, I understand, right, if you've had like a major family event happen at Christmas, blah, blah blah, but like if you haven't. What's not to like about Christmas, right Well?
Speaker 2:you might not be Christmas. You get presents, huh, you might not celebrate Christmas.
Speaker 3:Oh fuck it. Everyone celebrates Christmas.
Speaker 2:They don't, but they give presents.
Speaker 3:No one celebrates Christmas, do they anymore? Or what are you doing in Christmas? Well, I'm just sitting down by an empty manger, remembering that Jesus was once in one.
Speaker 1:No do we fuck.
Speaker 3:That's it there. I'm like what presents have I got? Do you like my presents? You better do, because I thought about it. Let's eat, drink and be merry, play some board games, go out with friends, do all the rest of it. It's actually the one time everyone just looks a little bit cheerier because it's Christmas. I think on Christmas Day.
Speaker 2:No, yeah, that's because they're all indoors and you can't see them.
Speaker 3:There. Probably is that, but like I should say, what's not to like about it? The films are better. There's lights everywhere.
Speaker 2:I think you need to buy yourself a sensory room if you want lights and films. You can have it all year.
Speaker 3:I just like I honestly I just don't get it. And when people say, oh, fucking out Christmas, I just I don't know what to do with them. Like I don't think I want to be their friends. That's how bad it is. But I would probably be your friend, because if you dislike Christmas, there's something wrong with you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm like, if someone says they don't like animals, I'm the same. I'm like. I can't really connect with you on that.
Speaker 3:I would probably think those who don't like Christmas probably don't like animals either. Maybe, yeah, they're probably serial killers. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think, though I think Christmas has the we've spoken about this before but the commercial side of Christmas is like seeping the joy out of it a little bit. It's become such a such a machine now that it becomes this kind of thing you do rather than actually thing you get excited about.
Speaker 3:There is that and there is that, like you know, obviously we talked to again about how early like some of these holidays start in the supermarkets and stuff. But like I still for me, I still get that kind of magic, that kind of like childhood. So when I, when people say I dislike Christmas, it's like in the front to me, it's like they slap me in the face and I want to turn around and like I get the flashy eyes and I get angry. I'm like I might.
Speaker 2:I might kill you, but you've also got a family to go home on Christmas with, you know, when you don't, it's really different.
Speaker 3:So you know, get over it how long has it been now 10 years on New. Year's.
Speaker 1:Day.
Speaker 2:That's it yeah, oh, something to celebrate 10th anniversary concert, and it is.
Speaker 3:Laid Miss a Rumble. That'd be a cheery affair. That'd be a cheery affair.
Speaker 2:That reminds me actually talking about that. So yesterday I went over to see my a couple of friends who were on tour in Sister Act the Musical and I worked. I worked with both of them on different shows and one of them I worked with on the ship during the Rock of Ages and we were talking about a mutual friend of ours who played the lead, a guy called James who's just become a father. Congratulations, and what.
Speaker 2:Priesthood, nice Priesthood. Yeah, so he's yeah. And so when, when my mum passed away, we were told, you know, that once they, you know, had to unhook all the machines and stuff, that she probably wouldn't make it.
Speaker 1:And that was true.
Speaker 2:So then we went away and they prepped and whatever they did, and they took the machines away and made it all look nice, and then you could go back in and have your moment. And I went back in and obviously being faced with your deceased mum in front of you is a bit of a weird experience. It's not something you've ever prepped for. But I didn't know what to do and I was just saying it's sort of kind of like sung a bit of Bring Him Home from Laid Miss. Just I didn't know what else to do and I sort of didn't do much and I thought that's it, I just need to go now and assemble a bit and off I went. So then I got this job on the cruise ship shortly after and we had to do these welcome aboard shows on the Sunday when everyone got on the ship and it's my turn to do my song, we had to take it in turn. So I thought I'm going to do that song. I've not sung it since. So we're talking, you know, eight, nine, 10 months later.
Speaker 2:So it's the first time I've ever sung it. Now my mate James one of my best mates he got. He was very young at the time, he was only 20 something and he got taken around the ship by one of the other cast members. He turned out to be a bit of a knob in the end and got absolutely plied with drinks so he was so fucking drunk he tried to have a fight with our company manager that night. He was going on the ship like just all over the place and like anyway, he came to watch this thing. So I get up on the mic and they introduced me and I'm like God, I hear my prayer, or the sort of stuff and in the audience you're going go Like that.
Speaker 2:Now he's not. You know that sounds really bad. I know you know today's, you know you can't say that sort of stuff. And it wasn't, but he wasn't. He was so drunk he, you know he was mortified the next day but and he was just going like so p twat and all sorts of stuff, like literally like every time, and there was like audience members in he's sitting at the front and he's the leader. And he's there going oh, thank you.
Speaker 2:And I'm singing the song but trying to get through it because my mom is sitting in the front row. I was like oh man, I was telling my friend about yesterday and he was like sitting there he's like oh my God. I remember that it was just, oh my God, absolutely horrendous. But yeah, so that was fun, did it make you better though.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah, I mean I was. I was pissed off at a time, not he wouldn't have known about that, but I was pissed off just from the point of view where it's bad enough having to get up and do that when you got like when your mates down there like shouting and stuff. That was pretty disrespectful at the time. But then I realized how pissed he was and next day he ironically got me a hot chocolate. It left it outside my cabin door with a little message on it saying story big man. So I took him aside and had a little chat with him about you know, this is your first job and don't get influenced by that other guy, because you'll be off the ship and he won't.
Speaker 2:And yeah but but yeah, it was very funny and hindsight. But Jesus Christ, at the time I was like what are you doing? Please stop, Please stop.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God.
Speaker 2:Why don't we get onto that about Merry Christmas? I don't know.
Speaker 3:I said about people who don't like Christmas. I know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, people don't like Christmas. Unbelievable, oh yeah.
Speaker 3:You said about again having a family coming home to a family for Christmas and I said go over it. And he said 10 years in a year.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, 10th anniversary concert. That'd be a seven every year 10th anniversary concert. There we are Delay.
Speaker 3:Ms Link, there we go.
Speaker 2:I was on Christmas Day on my own last year.
Speaker 3:Probably deserved it.
Speaker 2:I was doing Panto and I came back. But because I came back Christmas Eve, so I saw actually this is going to tie in with something later on. But I saw my partner on Christmas Eve and then the plan was to see each other Christmas day morning and then she travelled back to England to see her family. Yeah, I'd look after the cat.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's all agreed and absolutely fine.
Speaker 2:So I did that and then made myself a little dinner and stuff and I wasn't feeling sorry for myself. I actually quite thought, yeah, it's nice and looking forward to it, and I became really, really unwell. I had a really shit day. I was just sitting here on my own like with a flu or illness or something. I don't know what I had. But what was your second one anyway?
Speaker 3:Second moment of the week, so my second moment of the week is Die Hard, die Hard. Yeah the film.
Speaker 1:It's not a fucking Christmas film. You, pia, motherfucker.
Speaker 3:It's not a Christmas film. I don't care what anyone says I think.
Speaker 2:I think this it is not a Christmas film, it's a.
Speaker 3:Christmas film. It's just because it's set at Christmas. In the film Right, it was made in July. This night Everyone was like no, it's not a Christmas film. Even the director said it wasn't. He's kind of okay. The actors said it wasn't a Christmas film. It just happens to be set at Christmas. The premise for a Christmas film is not just that it's set at Christmas.
Speaker 2:Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but it's one of those cult things where people sort of go oh, that's my favorite Christmas film. It's like, yeah, pieces me off.
Speaker 3:Like it's just, it's not like. I don't get it. It's just one of those great films, yeah, fine, but like you know, if you stuck in Christmas trees in like Schindler's List, it won't be a Christmas film, would it? But you know what I'm saying. Like it wouldn't. It wouldn't like let's go straight to that example.
Speaker 1:But I was thinking of, like a list. He's making a list he's checking it twice.
Speaker 3:Jesus don't go there. That's even worse but, like you know, like films that are like brilliant films. Like in their own right. If that happened to be set at Christmas, you wouldn't be calling it a Christmas classic, would you? You would say no, it's a terrible film in the sense of like the content of it, you know. Set where it is, it's a brilliant film, but it's not a Christmas film. You can't, it's just, it's not a Christmas film. Sorry, yeah it doesn't make me feel Christmasy. I was thinking oh there's Bruce Willis.
Speaker 2:No, but people do, the people go oh, I'm going to watch. I need to watch. Die Harder this Christmas, yeah, and like why?
Speaker 3:No, there's a Christmas. I'm thinking there's a Christmas bit in Shawshank and I'm sure they go through Christmas at some point. Do we think of it as a Christmas film?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Well, I'll tell you what mate that brings me on nicely to my moon of the week, which is well the Christmas moon actually, and that.
Speaker 2:So my Christmas moon is Christmas movies, the ones you want to watch, the iconic ones we're talking. You know, the home alone and the. You know the Christmas lampoons and all that sort of stuff, you know, and the Grinch and all the big ones. They disappear off all of the fucking streaming platforms in Sky Cinema and that sort of stuff just before Christmas, so you can't actually get them. They're there in July, but when you want them you can't get them. So then you then have to go and rent them or buy them from their service if you don't have them.
Speaker 1:Fuck off.
Speaker 2:What? How anti-spirited Christmas is that Like? No, I buy Sky Cinema and Netflix and Disney and all that stuff to watch these films when I want to watch them and you take them off. Christmas films get taken off at the very fucking time you want them. Do they still do that? Yeah?
Speaker 3:Because they used to do it. I remember that exact thing that they used to have. You'd have, like you said, the Christmas trip. Films would just stay on all year round, for whatever reason you know. You put C on Sky, you were looking for a film and something would come up, or like H Home Alone would come up, and you're like, oh, there it is.
Speaker 3:It's still there Come the first of December gone, and then the Christmas channel would come on and it would say they'd have, like they'd start filtering them through over the next three or four weeks, one at a time, you're like, but this is the time I want to fucking watch them yeah.
Speaker 2:It's so annoying, so annoying. And then, luckily for you and I, we're the sort of people who have them all on DVD anyway so if we really wanted, to go and get them. We would get them, ah go on, yeah, go on. My Mrs has got a whole collection of Christmas DVDs we get out every year and stuff as well. But if you don't like what the actual fuck is going on there Like, it's just ridiculous. I'm going to look now on the Sky Cinema app or Sky Cinema thing. About what?
Speaker 2:Christmas films they've got. I bet you it is a flower hall, oh my God. They've got 80s megastar films though that's good, oh sorry, hang on a minute. There's the ADHD coming in. What else to look at? Have they not got Christmas ones on there yet?
Speaker 3:Come on, there's another Christmas movie channel yet.
Speaker 2:Are they got Elf for a start? That's good. Do you know? Elf is a recent favourite one. I didn't ever watch it before and I really like it now.
Speaker 3:Elf? Yeah, it's the. What's it, chris? It's the Will Ferrell, isn't it? It's the Will Ferrell thing? Yeah, because I love it, but, like I never used to like Will Ferrell, I'm warming to him, though that's the same for me, and it was actually the scene in Ancoman. I used to hate Ancoman. Oh my God, it used to make me so angry.
Speaker 1:Yeah, me too. I didn't ever get it. I was like why does everyone love?
Speaker 3:this film. It's not funny yet, but then I watched it one day and it was the you know, the sex panther bit. We go 60% of the time, but it's all the time. That doesn't even make any sense. That's like actually some of it is quite funny. And then I started getting into it when they sing it like gonna the, my baby, gonna they do the whole harmony bit.
Speaker 2:After me delayed yeah.
Speaker 3:I thought, okay, that's pretty funny. Have you seen the architecture of that?
Speaker 2:The bloopers.
Speaker 1:I think it might be.
Speaker 2:Ancoman too and he's there and he got Paul Rudd on camera and Will's going like he's talking about like masturbating, and he's there going. She got me there like the espresso he goes talk about a frothy ejaculate or something he said. Now I know what those Paul villagers of Pompeii felt like and it's talking and it's just, I think I have seen it and Paul Rudd like absolutely pissed himself and Will Ferrell was holding on.
Speaker 2:He keeps coming at all this stuff and he just absolutely pisses himself. I don't know how I'd get through a scene like that, because I would laugh so much all the time. Yeah, terrible, absolutely terrible.
Speaker 2:Anyway, not, but obviously I would if any casting directors are listening. Absolutely. So, yeah, that's good. Yeah, christmas Mones of the Week Very much, you agree with all of those? Right then, so here we go. It's Christmas, christmas day today, if you're listening to this on Christmas day. If you're not, then where were you? I want us to talk about our worst ever Christmas day or days Worst ever Christmas.
Speaker 3:Oh, I've got a couple, yeah, a couple.
Speaker 2:I've got one from when I was younger, so back when I had a, you know, a complete one. I complete, but I had a bigger family.
Speaker 3:I know you're going to say back when I had a mum. I'm only going to start laughing. How's it start pissing yourself?
Speaker 2:No, but it was. I had a mum back then and Nan, and so we used to have these big family Christmases at my Nan's house, and so it'd be my mum, me, my Nan, and then it'd be like my Nan's sisters and their children, and then their children and so on and my great grandma and all. So it'd be, you know, probably about 10, maybe 12 of us sometimes, maybe more.
Speaker 2:And sometimes the contingent from Australia would come over and it was great and my Nan would you know, we'd have all the, we'd play the games, We'd have all like the buffet and the Christmas dinner and then we'd watch the Queen's Speech and all that sort of stuff. But my mum and my Nan, mother and daughter never really got on, Never really done that much.
Speaker 2:My mum was quite tempestuous at times and we lived about a mile away from where my Nan lived and we had a dog at the time, a little Border Collie, or was it. Yeah, it was Border Collie, I think it's still then. And so we got to a certain point in the evening when my mum asked my auntie if we could get a lift back to our hometown, which about a mile away, and my auntie turned around because she's had an argument with my Nan, and my auntie turned around and said no, because I've had too much to drink now, and my mum took a massive offense to that and we had to, like get all that stuff up together and walk home in the cold on Christmas Day from my old with the dog and me and everyone else. And that was the beginning of the end of those Christmases, because everything everyone sort of had thought like my mum didn't speak to a certain people and it all just became really fractured after that and that was Christmas Day for me that year, whatever the year that was, but that was a fun one.
Speaker 2:Thanks, mum. So, yeah, completely unreasonable, but there we go. What about you? You got any ones from your younger? What Child?
Speaker 3:Yeah, childhood ones you see it like, because I obviously loved Christmas, so it was always quite like. You know, I was like Christmas, but then every now and again because my mum was just like basically taking strays, so every now and again they'd be like the odd person. What actual like cats, no us in people. The odd person come around, strut people like oh, you've got nowhere to go on Christmas Day, come to us. I was like oh, fuck off.
Speaker 1:Oh no, and it's very lovely over.
Speaker 3:Yeah, sometimes, yes, sometimes we did know them. I didn't know them that well. I'm going to cough, sorry.
Speaker 2:It's a lot to say. It's a Christmas gift that keeps on giving.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I know I can enjoy that. So, um, so many gifts. And we had these friends that lived around the corner and they were, you know, they were nice people.
Speaker 2:This is Uncle Jimmy coming round for Christmas now and then.
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly, yeah, it was great, yeah. So my mum was like, oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, it's popping around. I was like, okay, cool, not great, here we go. She came around with presents. That was always nice, oh, fantastic. Five, ten minutes later I think yeah, you're kind of out of stage. You're welcome now. Like I'm done. I want to get on with like, because we were waiting to eat Christmas dinner quite late and, uh, she stayed and she talked and had a drink and stayed and talked and had a drink and said, fucking, hour and a half later she finally fucks off Christmas dinner's cold. I am Angry.
Speaker 3:I was like 11, 12 years old. I was like you, fucking asshole, I absolutely. That day I was so angry. The worst thing is, I couldn't get away from the table, so I had to sit there with this stupid grin on my face, with this stupid nodding going. Oh really. Oh don't care, don't care, I don't care. It was like a combination of a ruined Christmas and fucking weather talk.
Speaker 2:I was like I don't care about anything.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was like I don't care what's going on in your life. It's Christmas. You're ruining it. You're taking away the one time a year I actually can smile.
Speaker 2:She's probably having a really tough time. It's why your mum invited around and she just needed that big comfort.
Speaker 3:You know what, you know what when your whon's there going?
Speaker 2:fucking fuck off.
Speaker 3:As an adult I can see she probably was, but as an adult I'd still be pissed off.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, and you wouldn't have invited her around as an adult.
Speaker 3:No, I wouldn't. I'd be like come on Boxing Day.
Speaker 2:Come on, boxing, day.
Speaker 3:Actually 27th, when it's all over, and then the Christmas films are kind of yeah, fine, come then, and then I might.
Speaker 2:Oh, I just thought of another Christmas moment I was going to say so go on. This is like when I was going out of my ex who listens to this podcast. Hello, she lived in her parents' house and their next door neighbour.
Speaker 1:They didn't really get on with Well, not all of us.
Speaker 3:Well, all of us had to fucking out. We all had to those of us had two parents.
Speaker 2:Mate, she was 24 at this point. It's not like I wasn't like a given, yeah, I'm just saying, like you know, I wasn't going out with them when she was 12. So anyway. So she was still living at home at this point and their next door neighbour was a bit of a dickhead and they didn't get on with him. But every fucking Christmas morning he did this thing where he got up really early, went out of the house dressed up as Santa Claus and came walking up their little cul-de-sac at 6.30 AM ringing a fucking bell going ho, ho, ho, ho ho.
Speaker 2:For his grandchildren. And we're in the bed going shut the fuck up, you prick, Because obviously you'd have been out the night before for some Christmas Eve drinks. And you're like, what are you doing? Like why are you waking up the whole street so you can fucking impress your fucking, like you know, spawn or whatever they are.
Speaker 3:It just ruined Christmas for me.
Speaker 2:That would ruin Christmas I'd have to go out and kill him. It would be for every year.
Speaker 1:Fucking every year for four years I'd have to.
Speaker 3:I'd be finding I'd like have I don't know a water balloon throw at him every year. In the shape of a snowman or something.
Speaker 2:Or just dress up as a Grinch and go out and knock 10 bells of shit out of him in front of his trunk.
Speaker 3:Oh, ho, ho ho motherfucker.
Speaker 2:I'm shoving the bell up his ass Like fucking that.
Speaker 1:Well, maybe in your home Children crying, christmas is ruined.
Speaker 2:And then just go, yippie-aye motherfucker and walk on.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, amazing. Then die hard would come in handy. Yeah, that's what it would go in handy.
Speaker 2:Fucking hell. Anyway, yeah, that was another moment of the week.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so.
Speaker 2:I've got a. I've got a worst Christmas day that we were both involved in. I think, another one I'll tell you again, time travel back to 2007.
Speaker 3:And so and it was 2007.
Speaker 2:It was 2007. It was the year. Well, we'll get to that. So basically we, so one of your family members, had passed away over in Ireland.
Speaker 3:That's about just remind me. Yeah, it was. It was my great uncle. So your great uncle passed away over in Ireland.
Speaker 2:And it's a family sort of tradition that people go and they lie in a state, in a house and people go and visit them. Definitely all the family go back.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, you helped dig the grave. You're like in, or I had a part to play in some of it and I just think but you didn't go back.
Speaker 2:Did you Because you couldn't go back? No, I did.
Speaker 3:I did. I sang every song at the funeral in that year.
Speaker 2:No, but yeah, but you didn't go. That's why you were on your own at Christmas, because they'd all gone back or your family had gone to Ireland.
Speaker 3:No, no they'd stayed, some of them had stayed, whereas I'd come back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah so so basically, you were.
Speaker 1:you're ruining this story, man, because, like you, make it sound that you could have just stayed there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm trying to fucking get the violins going there, you know Bed.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I can't remember why I came back. There was a reason, probably for what you were basically on your own for Christmas, because the morning of your family were in Ireland. That was what I remember. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And then I was going to be on my own for Christmas because me and the ex-girlfriend I just spoke in about had just split up after four years yeah.
Speaker 2:And my mum who at that point I hadn't spoken to for a little while because we'd had a fallout got in contact with me because my childhood dog who still haven't got over since 2007, passed away and various other reasons. So we were like we're both on our own, we're both feeling pretty shit, let's just spend Christmas Day together. So we you were living in Ireland at a time and then a flat above the shop- where you could have won the £250,000 on the spot.
Speaker 2:Oh don't, yeah, yeah yeah, and I remember we got there at Christmas Eve and we went and bought individual Christmas puddings from that shop.
Speaker 3:We did, yeah, yeah, we were going to make a real day of it.
Speaker 2:We went shopping on Christmas Eve, got a lot of Christmas food in ready to go. Christmas Eve night. You said, right, come on, we're going into Wimbledon because you worked at Wimbledon Theatre at the time and I didn't we're going to go out for some drinks with all my work colleagues. I said no, no, I don't know. Yeah, you said no, come on, come on. And I said you know, be good, not out, we can see what. I said, yeah, but I'm not interested in trying to go on the pool or anything like that. You know, no, no, no, it's just my work colleagues. And I walked in weather spoons in Wimbledon and you introduced me to my Mrs Noun and I was like oh, oh, shit, I've kind of fancied this girl quite a lot, anyway, because that was quite okay. But then we went home and we woke up Christmas morning. We were up as the presidents and then we started making the dinner. It was pretty depressing, even though we were like. We were sort of like enjoying each other's company.
Speaker 3:We were sitting there going this is fucking wonderful. Yeah, it was the atmosphere in the flat as well. It wasn't exactly, even though we'd made it Christmas Eve it was just a cold flat.
Speaker 2:It was cold. You had to have dessert, wouldn't you? I think we're about to have those fucking individual. Christmas puddings and I said I'm just going to nip off to the loo. And whilst in the loo, I suddenly started shivering and shaking and I suddenly went oh my God, I can't. I feel really, really cold and I just went down. Within the matter of about 15 minutes, 20 minutes. I've just completely unwell, like flew. You were then just there on your own with me, like on the sofa in blankets.
Speaker 2:Yeah, rags up, yeah, yeah, yeah, so you were having even more of a worst Christmas.
Speaker 1:I was having a terrible Christmas.
Speaker 2:I was like it's just fucking awful.
Speaker 3:Yeah we'd take a picture like because we were just like what the fuck?
Speaker 2:Oh, I did be, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Have you seen there like with thumbs up, like in, like the fucking worst Christmas ever?
Speaker 2:But then it got even worse because then we went, karen and I went back to see my nan and stuff and go back to see the family after Christmas, like Box and Day, that sort of thing, and then New Year's Eve. We just like you just got with your ex at that point, just pretty much. And I just I made the decision sitting in Bristol at about half nine.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I remember that I was like I'm going to rush back and I'm going to get there ready for midnight, because my then partner or my now partner and she wasn't my partner was there and obviously just met him. I was like, oh yeah. So I raced back from Bristol to Wimbledon, got there, got into this underground sort of pub thing that you're in with about 20 minutes to spare before before we you know, new Year's.
Speaker 3:Eve.
Speaker 2:Your partner at the time then had like a goat, but she had a goat in me about it, like trying to get it.
Speaker 3:Ah, she was just. She was just having a moment. Once she was on the other side, she was having a moment, but she wasn't really liking her, or whatever.
Speaker 2:But then and then the venue then missed the New Year's Eve countdown.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they did. They were too busy doing something else. Just scratched the record off countdown.
Speaker 1:That's right three two, one, Ah, it was like ah, that was good.
Speaker 2:It's a final countdown. Okay, I was like you're late, you're late by a minute, yeah, and then we went back to your flat and then spent three hours with my partner now deciding if she's going to stay or not.
Speaker 3:I just had a flashback of that, but I was just like it was ridiculous it was like well, do you want me to stay?
Speaker 3:I don't know, do you want to stay? Should I stay? I don't know, I don't have a should. Do you want me to stay? And I was just like, yeah, I was like someone make a fucking decision. I just said it out loud. I took it for about an hour and a half and I was like for fuck's sake. So it was a bit like no, you put the phone down. No, you put the phone down.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was, it was. Anyway, we got there in the end, but yeah, so that was a pretty fucking woeful Christmas 2007.
Speaker 1:Yes, it was. Both didn't have our 20s as well.
Speaker 3:On a no you were 30, you were 30. I was just. I just turned 30. Yeah, it was a fantastic birthday.
Speaker 2:Well, jesus Christ, that was a, that was a. Those fucking individual Christmas puddings were like the most depressing thing I've ever bought in my life.
Speaker 3:They really were. This is this a funny podcast today, Are we?
Speaker 2:just like, is this really a miserable podcast.
Speaker 1:People are going to be laughing. I fucking won't fucking do it. I feel like it's.
Speaker 2:I feel, maybe it's just living in our misery, but yeah, my other worst Christmas is is when I've been on tour. I went on tour around Europe in this thing called Musical Star Nights, so it was like a different venue every night doing compilations of musical theater songs.
Speaker 1:And over in Germany they celebrate their Christmas day on Christmas Eve.
Speaker 2:So, by the time you get to Christmas day, it's all over and we end up sitting in this underground dressing room. And they delivered us greasy pepperoni pizzas on Christmas day and I was like this fucking sucks. And I wasn't with my partner, and I was just saying I'm on my own, well, obviously, with the cast.
Speaker 3:So at least something was good then.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I don't know the cruise ship as well, because they don't do Christmas dinners. It was an American cruise ship. So I went out to the garden buffet sort of like thing. At the back of the ship was like the free buffet and I had to kind of cobble together a Christmas dinner that vaguely resembled a Christmas dinner with what they had there. I've got a picture of it somewhere.
Speaker 3:Well, they don't do Christmas dinner on the cruise ship.
Speaker 2:No, because it's like it's obviously different stations or different fusion guests. They had sort of they had versions of it, but not a British, you know. It was kind of.
Speaker 3:Not like a set thing, yeah it was.
Speaker 2:It was like, you know, they sort of had their interpretation of things and it's obviously a lot of the chefs are kind of like Filipino or Indian and stuff, so they're kind of doing what they think. You know, it wasn't like a, it wasn't like a traditional ink. I'd have to find the picture and I'll post it on the social because it's like, yeah, it was hilarious. I was just sitting there like on Christmas day eating my little makeshift dinner, so yeah, so that's my worst Christmas day. Let's go on to more cheerier subjects.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, let's do it, let's do it.
Speaker 2:What was? What was your best ever Christmas present or present?
Speaker 3:So whatever you say, oh, it's just been a lot, there's been a lot.
Speaker 3:I'm going to pick one from childhood. So one from childhood. Do you know? Like my parents used to do this thing, like sometimes we're all not sure if Santa was able to get you anything this year, and oh no, I've just thought of my. I've got a worst Christmas day. I'm going to come back to it, but anyway, my best Christmas present was an action man that I didn't know I think I was going to get, Like it was. Yeah, I've got me an action man with, like he was in like a tank.
Speaker 2:He had like the whole.
Speaker 1:Thing.
Speaker 3:I was like oh my God. And she was like yes, Santa's got you this, and what?
Speaker 2:was the other one. There was action man. Was it Delta man or something, or what was there?
Speaker 3:No, that was the pound line version that you got.
Speaker 1:No, there was, that was the yeah.
Speaker 2:That was the Glossischer one parent family version.
Speaker 1:You're a love I got you.
Speaker 2:Delta man. He's wearing wellies. Yeah, I know, because he's done operations in the farm fields and he made okay where's his gun? Oh, he's got a spade.
Speaker 3:He's got a tactical pig with him.
Speaker 2:It's like when you used to go to the market and you get those teenage and into turtle teachers and all the turtles are like yellow instead of green. Yeah, thanks, that's great and we're going to love this at school Cheers. But there was, there was action man, and there was another one that you still have to get.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I thought I asked you. No, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Of course you know all about these things until I wanna know them.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but I didn't like I told you I got the authentic version, so it's difficult for me to answer that.
Speaker 2:But it was authentic. It was, like you know, like Barbie and Cindy. It was like a thing of the past. It was action man, and then there was another one. I'm gonna look it up.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna look it up for you, john, as we're talking.
Speaker 2:No, look you carry on telling your story and I'll look it up.
Speaker 3:Otherwise, you're gonna so, yes, I'm gonna go back. Let's go back one when I was a kid. I think I've just realized my worst ever Christmas, when I was about five or six years old. Okay, I went upstairs in the house and I opened a cupboard I was looking for we were making like Christmas, like you know, the thing you get with a toilet roll holder in the Toyota school to make like stuff. And I was making something with a toilet roll holder, I think it was like what were you making?
Speaker 3:Like one of the like wise menu Sex bomb. Stick things on them and yeah, I was putting it in the freezer to make a makeshift sex toy. So I was looking for like I think I was looking for cellotape or glue or something like that and I opened the cupboard a wardrobe and not in my room and I found a crap load of presents, like loads of them just kind of stacked up like random stuff, and I thought, oh, that's weird.
Speaker 3:And I thought, oh, I wonder who's they are. It didn't dawn on me at the time that they were potentially mine or anything else. Anyway, I went down to tell my mom. I said, oh, mom, I found all the things upstairs and in the cupboard and she lost her shit. At me she started shouting. I was like what, why are we looking at her? I said, oh, I've got it. Anyway, I didn't know what I'd done. I ran under a table. I was crying onto the table with like the that's child abuse, mom, child abuse. I ran under the table with like cellotape cover because she had just panicked. So she didn't know. Anyway, she took me out and in her wisdom she told me there was no Santa at five years old.
Speaker 2:Whoa whoa, stop the press. What do you mean? Ha, ha, ha ha.
Speaker 3:Ha, ha, ha ha. So yeah, revelation, sorry for any children listening. On Christmas Day there was no Santa and I was like what? And? Honestly I cried my five, five or six.
Speaker 2:Five, sorry, yeah, yeah, oh, what a cow.
Speaker 3:And I cried my eyes out and I was distraught, and then essentially for the next. So that Christmas wasn't brilliant, obviously, but I had to. My sister was two years younger so I had to pretend to my sister for the next seven years that there was a Santa every Christmas. I remember crying one Christmas Eve. Well, mom there and I said I wish there was a Santa because I knew my sister didn't. She still had that magic. My mom, we used to do a film called the Mum who Ruined Christmas.
Speaker 3:The Mum who Ruined Christmas, but in fairness, she did make it a very good Christmas every year there. That is true. My mom did make it very Christmas and I kind of got over it in those kind of ways. I still wish there was a fucking Santa Claus now. I would love it, I would love it, love it, love it.
Speaker 2:Did you actually ever go looking for your presents, though, like for real, like trying to find them? I did.
Speaker 3:All the fucking time.
Speaker 2:I didn't want to know. This highlights our generation in terms of being 40 or something, because the presents I'm about to say that were my favorites would be probably completely terrible presents for people nowadays. But I basically had a monkey, a chimpanzee puppet that you put your hand in, had a squeaky mouth and thing, and you put your, put your his arms around your neck I've got a picture of me holding him. I'll put that on there as well and I called him Mickey and, oh my God, I was absolutely obsessed with this thing. When it stares around, it's all empty. I was like, oh, this is actually how old, are you?
Speaker 2:Right 15. No, no.
Speaker 3:Oh, it was last year 25 or something.
Speaker 2:No, it was. No, it must have been. Well, it was in the period of time when I went to the hairdressers and used to ask for my hair to look like James Bond, and at the time James Bond was Roger Moore, so you can imagine how that looked. I had this comb over hair. So if it was still Roger Moore, it would have been in the 80s at some point. I don't know, I reckon I'm about 10, 12, I don't know, but then so that was one of them. I absolutely loved that one. And then the board game Monopoly.
Speaker 2:I was like for real to be and that's the one of the presents I found. So my nan worked in a hospital as an auxiliary nurse. I went to see her one day and she went off to go to the toilet and I looked in her locker at work and I saw Monopoly. Now I was like yes, and then obviously ruined the surprise I never wanted to know.
Speaker 3:No, I feel bad about it now, but anyway. Ooh, here's the thing. Because this ain't going out to Christmas day, what are you getting in your partner for Christmas?
Speaker 2:Oh, the gift of me. I'm coming home. That's a real girl thing to say Do you know what it's? Not going out to Christmas day, but she's just the other side of this door, so okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, okay and also.
Speaker 2:I don't know because I don't have any money at the moment so, oh, fair the gift of love. Well, last year we didn't buy each other Christmas presents because we bought a cat tower for Bubs like a massive one. It was like nearly 200 quid. So we just bought that for cat for Bubs instead of ourselves.
Speaker 3:I'm slightly disappointed in you, not because I think it's great for the cat, but you also should have got presents. That's the meaning of Christmas.
Speaker 2:Anything that we would want, that we would really want. Neither of us can really afford to buy each other, so we still get like little. We bought little things to open like. We bought little kind of.
Speaker 3:Okay, fine, yeah, yeah we did that.
Speaker 2:We just didn't buy each other any like presents.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's fine. I thought you meant you just sat there with the fucking phone.
Speaker 2:No, no, no no, we always do that because, yeah, we always do that, but I think I got it's blurry because it could have been birthday. It could have not been. I think I got like a Mega Drive and or a SNES one year as well.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, are you right so?
Speaker 2:I got the Mega Drive first and then eventually, when the SNES came out, I got the.
Speaker 3:SNES back. Oh yeah, I got Mega Drive and I got a Master System one year, so that would have been a good year. Transformers one year. I remember playing with them all the time, like he's a fucking love of things.
Speaker 2:One Christmas I got, yeah, transformers. I never had Transformers, I had ThunderCats, the 18. Transbots.
Speaker 3:To go along with Delta man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's never Transformers. I had Laurie Men Tractotots. Yeah but, I but no one Christmas. I remember I must have been, I don't know three or four, maybe I'm guessing but obviously still very much believing in Santa Claus and went to bed and I woke up in the middle of the night to see my mom and her friend who was my.
Speaker 2:I called her my auntie, but she wasn't an auntie pat, I believe that's who it was. I could be misremembering that. But anyway, one of her female friends in my room setting up a playhouse you know, when there's sort of like a playhouse you used to have to get and I was like hello, well, santa, they're like no, no, no, santa's gone. We just set this up for him or something, and they said, okay, go back to sleep, okay. So I kind of thought they were trying to get us out of the room before I woke up. But that's probably one of my earliest memories, actually, and probably one of my only memories from that time really. But yeah.
Speaker 2:I remember that.
Speaker 3:I love.
Speaker 2:Christmas. What a great time of year. Christmas is great, yeah, and I've had loads of good stuff. You know, as I got older, my other ex, who bought me when we moved in together in Liverpool and we were quite young and we decided to get credit cards out to buy loads of presents to everyone and be the big couple and I got ourselves into a bit of shit with it but she bought me like a electroacoustic guitar and all the stuff with it. It was pretty cool. But never really played it, unfortunately.
Speaker 3:How'd that go?
Speaker 2:I was like, yeah, I should just say Now I'm playing guitar now. I wish I was fucking played it when I got it, because I've had 20 years of experience now. So let's move on to the worst Christmas present you've got. Then that's to be interesting.
Speaker 1:I'll start. If you want, I'll start so this is probably unfairly the worst.
Speaker 2:As an adult. I don't think this is the worst Christmas present ever, but every year when my great grandma was still alive, so my nun's mum on that side of the family, she was like really small, really old, like really wrinkly and stuff but lovely, but she would get me every year a sandwich bag full of one piece and two piece that she collected over the year, maybe like a 10 of worth of two piece and one piece. Now that's really kind of really sweet because she had so many grandchildren. But as a kid I was like fucking hell.
Speaker 2:What the fuck is this shit?
Speaker 1:I'm like thanks great grandma, that's great. I'm fucking every fucking year.
Speaker 2:And then she used to also like speak and talk about the whole of the fucking movies and all this, queens speech and.
Speaker 1:I'm like shut the fuck up grandma.
Speaker 3:Queen's speech. You could do. I can get a fucking hate the queen's speech, obviously, now it's.
Speaker 2:We'll have to get to that. We'll get to that. That's coming up.
Speaker 2:And then the other thing my mum got me. My mum was really generous with presents and used to get like a massive bag full of and not as I got old and stuff, but she was also. She wouldn't. She did that and probably be. I'm not being stereotypical here, but there's some girls do this. They like to buy you what they think you want and what they like to buy, rather than actually what you would want, and they go. I know I get you this because that'd be really nice. So my mum bought me some really lovely stuff, but often it'd be like, oh, that's really nice, but in my head sometimes I'm thinking actually, what do I want? Like, if you just ask me what I wanted, I could have told you at least as I got older, when I was a kid, I'd yeah yeah.
Speaker 2:That's what I wanted and that sounds really ungrateful and it wasn't because I was grateful of what they bought and I can see how nicely we're, but it's partly going like I wish you'd just asked me what I wanted, because I could have got that thing I wanted if you, for the cost of all this, I could have got you know, whatever. But they don't see it like that. But one year when I was little, she bought me some jeans, some brand new, that sort of wash denim, you know, stone wash denim. Oh, these are nice. Were they V-Lies? No, no, they're from the market and you'll see why in a minute. And they were folded up nicely and I got them out and I think I did the same thing as her I looked at them and put them to one side.
Speaker 2:I don't think she unfolded them either, because when I put them on for the first time to go up the street, they turned out to be flares yeah 1991 flares.
Speaker 2:She was absolutely she was doing the same when she opened them up, she cause she didn't do it at the market, she just went, I'll have that size, and I said, and then kept them folded so she could wrap them nicely and they're put to these flares. Actually, we were going to do a dog walk so I had to tuck my flares in the Wellies to go for this walk and she was absolutely wearing herself. And then so then the whole way up the street she was going oh, come on, john, show everyone your flares. Like winding me up. I was like you've bought them for me. She's like she's got all flares. You're fashionable. She was like winding me up, but I was like fuck sake man, so that was a good present.
Speaker 1:Flares, flazzy flares.
Speaker 3:They came back in a bit later as a back in the back in nine. They're kind of in it now. Yeah, I would say I can't wear them like a cunt, but yeah, I don't really know them anyway.
Speaker 2:So yeah. So there was me with my flares, holding my Delta man and my tractor top and my yellow teenage ninja turtle t-shirt.
Speaker 3:You re-bought pimps on, oh God.
Speaker 1:What about you?
Speaker 3:What's your worst present? My, oh God. So my worst present? Oh, don't know. Yeah, I feel kind of bad for saying this actually, but I'm going to say it anyway.
Speaker 2:Oh God, my worst Christmas presents both come from the same person my ex and I'm going to guess, was that the first Christmas present in the first Christmas you got here? Yes, it was that was one of them. You're face. I was there and you open that you're. This is like what the fuck is this?
Speaker 1:Wasn't it basically can.
Speaker 2:I guess what can I remember? Guess what it was.
Speaker 1:Yeah, good for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like I could monsters ink mug and some socks or something.
Speaker 3:Almost. It was a monsters ink mug, a big like one from the Disney store, with a little. I think it was a grumpy toy and that's all that like one of the dwarves, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I think I thought for stuff at you and then like yeah, so Basically what what happened was we weren't together.
Speaker 3:She was pretending not to like me, so trying to play it all a little like anything's going on. Yeah, no, no. Well, yeah, now obviously it's different. There's no pretence involved, but at the time she was pretending not to like me, so she didn't want to seem like that what she bought me was thought out or anything. Yeah apparently spent a long time.
Speaker 2:Just you actually just gave it. She was actually quite thoughtful with her presence moving forward.
Speaker 3:She was, she was really good with it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she was really. She was a thoughtful person. Say what she still is.
Speaker 3:But she still is it? Well, I don't know, I'm seeing if I know.
Speaker 2:But I mean I was saying was as if it's like past tense, but yeah yeah, well, she's not that thoughtful now.
Speaker 3:She's still got my dog, but whatever, she did think it through. Yeah, I'm not saying that that's an asshole thing to do, but you know. So anyway, I Thought this I'd be thinking right because I really liked her, but you know she'd been saying nothing's gonna happen Whatever. So I Fought because she was would do musical theater. I bought a folder and spent fucking ages photocopying all the music I knew that she would love to sing. So the rest of it's a lot. I don't want to spend loads of money because I don't want her to be freaked out. So we spent time. Remember how the printer just didn't work and we had to reprint them.
Speaker 3:Copy them over, and so I spent all this time getting this really nice folder would have been quicker so I didn't try.
Speaker 2:Would have been quicker to get a Load of cannons or monks to like right out by hand.
Speaker 3:But so yeah, so anyway. So I gave her this present. She was she, what you call.
Speaker 3:Monty finish Monty, finish the latte. And now I've got no drink. So I was like like here you go and she up oh, thank you so much. And you know she was. We could see she loved it and there was a little funny look in her face. I was like what's that about? I open my present and I was just like what? I mean? It had no relevance to anything we'd ever spoken about. It was the most generic. What the fuck is this present present I've ever got? And I was looks and I was like, wow, you really want me to know that you don't like me right? So that's how I took it. So maybe she'll send me one this year.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I got the same wing in its way to you know I know, but but yeah.
Speaker 3:So then for the second one, and this one I do feel bad about but it was and it was down to me, but she basically she found this guy on the like in London. This is just a little one of the presence. She got me loads, but as one present this year, one year that she found this guy to do caricatures and she thought of all the things I liked rugby, basketball, martial arts, etc, etc. And he drew. She gave him a picture of me and he drew me in caricature doing all these things and I was like I Hated photos, as you remember, because of my hair, because I think we spoke on the past, I used to wear this it wasn't a photo, as a caricature.
Speaker 3:Yes, I know, but I hated photos. To have someone draw my photo with the fake hair on not realizing was fake. It was like someone pointing a spotlight on the worst possible thing you can possibly have.
Speaker 2:And I wish you'd known the hairline doing that like, just like, way enough in the wind. I would have been, it would now that be funny then it would be more to find.
Speaker 3:But I said I said I was like why would you think I'd want this? This is pictures of me. I hate pictures.
Speaker 2:What does she say to that?
Speaker 3:She said I didn't even. She was like I didn't even think I'm so sorry, and she apologized. I kind of feel bad now even talking about it like it was, but it was one of those things I did. And then I did feel bad later on and said look, I'll get used to it. Thank you, but she meant it so well, she meant the best, like.
Speaker 2:I can imagine your reaction back then as well, because the way you were, I would have been awful. It was awful I'd love that's.
Speaker 3:I'd love to be able to apologize for I just not sure I don't think I'm in the position to apologize for that. I've got other things to apologize for first.
Speaker 2:She's got you back. Yeah, oh man Fucking hell yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, there you go, so I'll be there.
Speaker 2:So we've done that one. That's a, that's a crappy ones. I Definitely, I definitely had one of those. I've definitely had a few kind of like knitted jumpers from aunties and things. Oh yeah, my mom's bought the odd thing like this.
Speaker 3:Like, oh, I've got your jumper and I got one. I've got 20 jumpers right. Always bought my one, maybe 3% I wear. And then she gets me whenever a year and I'm like so, and it's, these aren't cheap as well, she'll spend a lot on it. I'm like, if you're gonna spend a lot on something, at least ask me, because something comes out with like what is this? How old do you think I am?
Speaker 2:There's nothing worse when you do like a, you get like a secret Santa or someone gives you a present and they buy you something you either don't eat or drink or like or use and you think I'm fucking waste, anyway. So let's move on. This is gonna be a bumper issue, but it's Christmas.
Speaker 3:So why not? It's Christmas? Well, should you do. Christmas Day covers the Queen's is that me right?
Speaker 2:I want to know one Favorite Christmas movie go.
Speaker 3:You can only pick one. Oh yeah, that's not possible. There's different genres of Christmas films on no, no, no, no.
Speaker 2:it has to be your favorite all-time Christmas. If you only ever watch one Christmas movie ever again, what would it be?
Speaker 3:Okay, if I could ever watch one, yeah, it'd be. It's a wonderful life.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 2:What? Why are you talking about? I've never seen it.
Speaker 3:No, I, it's amazing, I also. I'm my, yeah, but it's in color as well.
Speaker 2:But me and my I can be in both. Oh, you mean as it okay.
Speaker 3:I think, make the same film. No, no, well with the bosses. Me and my partner went to watch it a couple of years ago at the BFI in South Bank. So it was on at Christmas and obviously, and it was just after COVID, so people were still a bit funny on the mask and the rest of it. So the cinema's empty. There's like about six of us in, maybe six or eight of us in there. The film would never seen the cinema. Obviously. She'd never seen it at all. We watched the entire film. Honestly, watching on a big screen was a different experience and at the end of it everyone clapped. It was that kind of thing you felt like you watch it was. It was like it was really cool. But I've always known I love that film us. It's yeah, it's a brilliant, brilliant film.
Speaker 2:It's a wonderful life. So, yeah, you should watch it.
Speaker 3:I do have a couple of others when you do yours, and then I'll have to add in some notable mentions. It's a tough one for me because I think there was.
Speaker 2:they say die hard, we're not friends. Yeah, yeah, no, it's Delta man's Christmas adventure.
Speaker 3:Delta man, delta man meets transport.
Speaker 2:No, I'm alone. Yeah, okay, that's the that for me is like the one that's I guess it was Carol Honorary mention. Oh God, but yeah, I'm fucking.
Speaker 3:I'm so difficult scrooge on remension.
Speaker 2:Love actually for me as well. How so I always have to watch out Christmas? I love that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, dude, there's one story to maybe.
Speaker 2:Did I know you that I Just met you. Then she moved. You probably don't know this, but I went to watch that on my own in Guilford at the time when I wasn't with anyone and I was feeling particularly lonely and thinking I wish I had someone. And I went to watch this film. I had a massive crush on Kira Knightley straight away, but the only film I've ever fancied her in I didn't like her after that.
Speaker 2:Right and I left that film like feeling so fucking low and shit about the world Because everyone's like loved up and I was just like I walked home like I probably wasn't snowing. It felt like it was I was walking home going.
Speaker 1:No one's gonna ever love me.
Speaker 2:Think I had little cry as well, oh yeah, but that's it I love actually for me and I quite like jingle all the way. You know it's a stupid.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I couldn't put it up there, but I like I do watch it every year. But, yeah, my feet, christmas, carol, and with you all the way, for sure, scrooge, doll up and let's do the one bad, santa's quite good. Yeah, yeah it is, but I like the Santa Claus with yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, oh, that I was thinking of Santa Claus, the movie, another one back in the old sound.
Speaker 3:Close the movie that's a classic, do you know me right? So from that film, santa Claus, the movie I don't know how well you remember it, but there's a scene that I said yeah, I said. I got older, I was thinking this isn't quite right, is it so wait? So Santa Claus obviously comes one year, right is there. And then you see the homeless kid right Looking up, and I'm watching people.
Speaker 2:The little boy. Yeah, no cap on yeah yeah, so he's watching.
Speaker 3:People don't wish, and he could have food and he sees Santa anyway. And then the ginger girl sees the window the ginger girl sees about the window a different time and she comes out and good, little boy. Little boy gives him a can of coke and a load of like food.
Speaker 2:What's that I'm fed to me Exactly?
Speaker 3:Remember anything? Um gives me a can of coke and a load of like turkey and other bits which from her ridiculous Christmas dinner and he sits there outside looking really happy eating it, even though it's like minus seven, right. Anyway, santa says hello, all the rest, and he says yeah, I'll see you next year, and he leaves the kid out in the fucking snow. A homeless kid. He's had one meal and a can of coke and Santa's like great. Next year same time. Yeah, you just left him to die.
Speaker 2:He's not an estate agent, he's Santa Claus.
Speaker 3:That's good point though the 80s right Exactly. Well, we had no, there's no safety. In the 80s, the we thought we had playgrounds. We're just cement. We had Jimmy Savile, gary glitter on TV.
Speaker 2:Was teaching us.
Speaker 3:Yeah, real fire is just teaking us up.
Speaker 2:Let's go for, with his hand up a gopher.
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2:Right, okay, so we're gonna carry on with some more things before we wrap up this episode. So okay, all time Best Christmas song. You have to listen to one Christmas song for rest of your life and only one. What are you going with?
Speaker 3:I don't know if I've thought about this one. I've thought of all time worst, all time best. If it was good, you going down the Carol kind of route, I'd be going for oh, holy night. But otherwise all I want for Christmas has to be what more I carry yeah hey, we agree, oh really, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. People say it's the Pogues and all sorts of, but Nana that. You you hear that that Christmas from that Mara carry and you like that's Christmas now. Yes, brilliant. Yeah, oh, fucking hell, we agree on that one. Good, I thought you were gonna come down, do you? Think I was gonna say I Thought you're gonna say Pogues. Or I thought you're gonna say like white Christmas by being cross with us. I'm shit like that.
Speaker 3:No, no, no, I do like those. What's your?
Speaker 2:worst ever Christmas song. What's the one you absolutely hate, you oh this is bit controversial because people love it.
Speaker 3:Oh right, one willing Christmas. I fucking hate this song and every time it comes on and all my exes like, oh, I love this. It really makes me feel happy when we're going to fucking driving home for Christmas. Okay yeah, I fucking hate it. Adjust it's like describing making dinner and turn it into a song driving home for Christmas. There's a guy to my left also going home. Everyone's happy. Everyone says fuck off, it's shit.
Speaker 2:I hate it, I don't hate it, but it's got a limited, limited usage.
Speaker 3:Christmas.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but if you're on tour and you're setting off to go home for Christmas, you can put that on. It's like, oh, I'm driving home Christmas after that, no, done with it. Yeah, I can know. I don't think that's. I don't think that's a controversial one. I think I can see why you'd hate that one. My one is stop the cavalry by John Louie.
Speaker 3:Oh, I quite like that one. Something about that oh.
Speaker 2:No, here we go. So the final thing, or one of the final things I think we should go through, is describe the perfect Christmas dinner plate was on your plate. So obviously I'm going to say roast potatoes given yeah, that's sure. And then roast parsnips Yep, my absolute favorite thing of all time. Roast past, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:I love it like, especially like honey, but yeah, carrots.
Speaker 2:Given on the sweet mash sweet.
Speaker 3:I wouldn't say it's my perfect Christmas plate, but I kind of expect it to be there. Yeah, okay, but yeah, I would have that on my perfect one, but you wouldn't okay, fine, yeah yeah, would you have stuffing?
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, definitely have stuffing. I would have obviously a bit of mashed rotator as well, if it's going yeah, yeah, same. Yeah, and then I would have sprouts. Yeah, I'd have.
Speaker 3:I'd have leeks and cheese sauce from mommy's or I think you introduced me to that, so, but yeah, I've started to add it into mine yet, and then I'd like some little like obviously night they'd not be meat-free ones, but um honey mustard chipolatas, so like chipolata honey mustard chipolata cooked in the oven with whole grain, mustard and honey on them.
Speaker 2:The fucking course my mom used to make them. Absolutely love them and pigs and blankets I guess richman's meat-free and now doing and sort of chipolata cocktail, and then I'd have, obviously, gravy and nut roast a nice nut roast for me. Yeah or you probably have turkey and I would. You or not, I never got turkey. When I eat meat, it's just so dry and it.
Speaker 3:It is dry, it is dry. Well, mine is be slight. I mean, we're talking about my perfect one. It probably isn't gonna be the one that I will eat this year. My perfect one would have yeah, I would have meat on it.
Speaker 2:I'll get to it. Yeah, so, and that I think that's, think that's it for me. Would you have anything else? I've missed on your one.
Speaker 3:So I would have. Yeah, it might be very similar. I said have everything you'd have. We used to do like a Carrot and sweet mash.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I like that Would you still have carrots as well, though.
Speaker 3:Yeah, probably it's saying, like mashed potatoes, roast potato, why you having both? Because they're different.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I do both.
Speaker 3:Yet I would all. I would always make my dad get beef, turkey and ham food. Cook a turkey cook beef I'm gonna put on.
Speaker 2:I was like my mrs Loves gammon. Yeah, I was have gammon at Christmas. Yes, I've come in on a plate and, and I don't know whether, it's an Irish thing, I don't know.
Speaker 3:Maybe it's an English thing as well, I'm not sure. Well, I guess it would be with your, she would be a English thing as well. But yeah, you have all three meats and I'll be like, especially my dad would make such good like roast beef. But probably, you know, having been vegan for five and a half years and it's very sort of a bit of the guilt when it comes to that kind of stuff.
Speaker 3:So I try and stay away from it all. Is there anything else I'd have now? You'd be gravy, obviously, would have to be on there.
Speaker 2:Would you have them?
Speaker 3:things like bread sauce and cranberry sauce and that sort of stuff again, not one as a kid know, but as I've gone through, as I've gone through partners, but it is true, I said picks up, killed each one of yeah, I said when I bury them and I leave.
Speaker 3:No, I am. I've picked up kind of little mini traditions from like different people. So from some of my like ex-girlfriends they were quite traditional and they would have like cranberry sauce, Bread sauce and all the rest of it and I quite like. So I was like, ah, I like that. So I'll add that in Some of them were pricks.
Speaker 2:I think the second I didn't say what you could say now I've had.
Speaker 3:You know I've never been honest. I can honestly like just put this is a little caveat to the third, the jokes I've been making I've never been out with anyone that I think God's you were an asshole ever. At the end of it I always just think that ended badly. That's a shame.
Speaker 2:But I've never really thought you were an asshole like well, there's a common denominator, then you must be the asshole each time.
Speaker 3:I must be the other exactly is, I think, if there's always a problem your relationship, it's probably you.
Speaker 2:I've never, I've, never, I've never known anyone in the relationship to be an asshole, so I must have always been me. What you having Chris was putting on mince pies after we don't do either, actually.
Speaker 3:I Do now, no, now do but mince pies. Mince pies, basically starting November for me, and they essentially get, like fed into my body intravenously from the beginning of November to, like the end of December.
Speaker 2:This has been our pattern for years and my partner's already had some. I have made a stand this year and I've very Purposely not had anything Christmas related that I've not. There's a couple of things because of like there's a few things in the shop Like there's, you know, there's like mcvitties, cheeseball things. You can get there and there is.
Speaker 2:I've had some of those, but but, but mince pie. I've not had one yet and I'm not. I'm not having it until I get into Panto, until we start with hunter rehearsals in into December, and then I'll have one.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 2:Because otherwise I just eat packs and packs and packs of things and what I don't get to Christmas, it doesn't feel like I think I'm bored of them, though.
Speaker 3:So Even then you add things to them like brandy butter, and actually I'd never had brandy butter until you bought it. I know you love that's something I miss when?
Speaker 2:well, lots of things, but one of the things I miss about my nan is she made the fucking best brandy butter man. Jesus Christ, it's so good.
Speaker 3:So I think I had some of brandy butter, but it, when I, when I saw it was coming out of like a sainte-gourgette, she was lying to you, john. I've made this amazing Christmas pudding as she dumps it out from the microwave. It's amazing brandy, but no when people can actually make that stuff for real. I'm joking, obviously I'm sure like it does taste so much better. Putting has to be in there. Maybe it means really Christmas pudding with brandy butter.
Speaker 2:And I eat it, but I never liked it. And then in the, and then right, so that's yeah cool, so I think we agree on that. That's pretty good. But here's, here's the big, here's the fucking ultimate question. Now, right, because you? You and I have both had various different Christmas days at various different people's families.
Speaker 1:It's on our own, yeah, so.
Speaker 2:I, I don't think I can't think of a day Since being a kid, really, where I've ever really had what I would consider to be my Chris, my tradition, my ideal Christmas day, because I've always been at partners, families or, you know, on tour, and it doesn't mean that I've had bad Christmas days. So they've what? Let you say, you pick up nice little things from each one and they, you know this was there's lots of different things that are nice about all of them, but I don't think I've ever done a Christmas day properly how I want it.
Speaker 1:As an adult?
Speaker 2:I don't think so I was gonna ask you what is your I. What is Juan's ideal Christmas day itinerary? From the morning Through to the evening? How would it go?
Speaker 3:It's difficult, right, because I have had one ideal Christmas day. The issue is, it's difficult to talk about it's in the past and like it's, you know. So my ideal Christmas day would be Get up in the morning, that's always a good start.
Speaker 2:All the presents around.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it was yourself.
Speaker 3:Wake up, I'm alive. Thank God, thank God. Yeah, all the Christmas tree lights come on Nice. All the lights come on everywhere you basically fire goes on, so it's nice and warm. You make a cup of tea and you get like some breakfast-y stuff out. My dad always used to get panatonia.
Speaker 2:So far. So far we're on exactly the same page, apart from I've got a tradition where I have to open one present on Christmas Eve evening.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, no, we do. Yeah, yes, I haven't done that. Yeah, we always do one. Me and my mum have that tradition. We do the same thing. It's always like one present.
Speaker 2:You get to put one present from under the tree and you can pick out whatever it is Exactly.
Speaker 3:You have that on Christmas Eve. Yeah, we used to do it after midnight mass and then I realised there was no God Midnight mass Okay. No, when midnight mass and then my mum, I said to her more in the years she was like I was like do I have mom? I was 12. Do I have to go to midnight mass? She was like, well, you don't have to Like. It is kind of like you know, but you should know. I was like brilliant, never went again.
Speaker 2:So but yeah, no, I mean you know, so get up like song.
Speaker 3:So yeah, so get up cup of tea, some breakfast, of some description.
Speaker 2:Like you know, christmas theme has to be warm, I think, like people have like bacon sandwich or some type of some of that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, I know, we actually asked you. My dad would always get like because he's foreign. Like you know, panatoni, and which is a bit weird for me, but we'd have that with some mince pies and my mum would sometimes like my ex used to do a. She used to love having like some salmon and the bleanies you know the little tiny things, yeah. So it was her that kind of thing. So we did a bit of that when she was actually love that. Then we'd start opening the presents.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's what we do yeah, right, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't get it. No, my partner now she's like no, you open the presents the afternoon.
Speaker 2:She can have a family day. That's what my family do. They, they, they have, and I'm like I'm there, when we know why that is though. Why.
Speaker 3:Because they like speaking to the family.
Speaker 2:That's true, isn't it? Yeah Well, no, it's also because actually the family all come to normally to my partner's mum's house. Obviously it's starting to break up now because they're having children for their own. It all comes in different places we live and stuff, but but they used to all come there for the last however many years. So then you would wait until they've all turned up when they get their dinner and then then everyone sits around and it's all a big thing with everyone in the afternoon. But I always make me and my partner do it. Even if I'm a mum's house, we do it in the morning on our own, because I'm like I have to in the morning.
Speaker 2:I'm just yeah, so yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, which means by the time I get to this thing.
Speaker 2:I've got nothing to open.
Speaker 3:Well, with with my, with my ex of like many years, we used to do have a Christmas day in the morning. So we used to say to her parents we're not going to be there until like 12 o'clock. We'd have our entire Christmas day breakfast, open all the presents, watch a Christmas film through the whole thing, and then we'd go to the parents. Often, because I go to the parents and like I don't like I've discovered now parents.
Speaker 3:I've discovered now like I got like a lot more social anxiety than I ever really gave myself, just a bit than ever realized Just a bit, I know, but I used to. I used to put it down to things like well, I feel a bit uncomfortable because of my weight, I feel a bit uncomfortable because of my hair, and actually I just think I've just got social anxiety. I'm great one on one with people, but when it comes to groups of people, I feel this is a little slightly.
Speaker 3:I feel slightly, slightly out of place wherever I am. I've just something I've realized I feel slightly out of place wherever I am, so when I used to go to the house, I just feel like I didn't belong there and it was a bit of a torturous day for me. But and they're all really, they're all really lovely.
Speaker 2:It just you know I'm the same though, Because actually, when I go to like my partners for Christmas like they got a lovely house and all the family come around and their family very much make me feel part of the family. I've known them for years and they're absolutely lovely people and I have to keep going off like every couple of hours upstairs, into the bedroom and just lie down for like 10, 15 minutes on my own.
Speaker 1:Yeah, or much more like.
Speaker 2:to reset, because it's not that introvert thing where I just go. This is all a bit and there's not. They're not even doing anything. They're not, there's not even irritated by anyone. It's not that I just go, just need that and then I go back down again. It's like, yeah, it's weird, it's weird, unless I'm performing.
Speaker 3:if I'm in performance mode, I'm like talking, then I'm kind of fine. But otherwise you'll either see me you won't see me so I'll be off somewhere, or I'll be sitting talking to the nearest dog or cat.
Speaker 1:That's essentially how it goes.
Speaker 2:So we've got breakfast and then presents, then what Right, and then what?
Speaker 3:Then, after you've kind of sorted all that, the wrapping, we start like maybe as I got older we'd have a few drinks or I'd sit there again, we'd watch some Christmas films, maybe play some board games with my sister and See, I would say that that for me my ex's family would go, would walk around to the local pub and just have one drink in the pub at that point.
Speaker 2:That used to be like a community thing too.
Speaker 1:I've never done it since.
Speaker 2:But I kind of feel like if I was living in somewhere, that might be quite a nice idea, but yeah, but then it'd be like doing a prep. I see I want music on Christmas, music on Christmas films on as well.
Speaker 3:Yeah, for sure. Yeah, Christmas music is always on as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that's the thing that I've sort of like so surreticiously introduced into, like my partner's family's thing, because they wouldn't have news gone at the Christmas dinner, what? Yeah, because they would just chat and do something and get on, I'd think what. Oh, get out what's going on with the family getting on at Christmas. What are you doing?
Speaker 3:Yeah, what are they doing? I was just showing off.
Speaker 2:So I'd like I'd go in and like help prep the table and I'd just be like stick a Christmas CD on this hope it gets a bit by bit each year. Now it goes on. I'm like, yes, I've done it, I've infiltrated the family.
Speaker 3:It's something to go. Oh, should we get that Christmas CD we've always put on? Yeah, have we always done that? Yeah, so snuck it in in the background.
Speaker 2:My ex, though the other one I was talking about her family. They used to always play articulate the board game at Christmas and it was always like her nan and her dad and then her mum and someone else like and in teams, and like her nan and her dad would always like be cheating. And then there'd be big, big arguments and stuff like fun arguments, but it was like, no, it's always, always articulate, every. But I don't have that, I don't have that anymore because my partner hates board games. He doesn't. Yeah, I wonder if I've had it all the time. I said to her when I was about to come and do this recording. I said, oh, I'm going to talk about, you know, my favorite Christmas presents. And I said I said, oh, you know, I told her about the monkey and I said, oh, so I said Monopoly. She went, not that you have anyone to play it with. I went, I did back. Then you fucker Still got upstairs. We'll play it with me, so yeah.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I love board games, yeah, right, so anyway so you're watching Chris's Chris's film. Maybe go to the pub Then dinner, yeah what time's dinner Dinner for us is like a late, it's like a five or six. No, yeah, no, no, no.
Speaker 1:That's been one or two o'clock for dinner for me.
Speaker 2:Really Between 12 and three because then you got what was going on too earlier. You've got time then to watch the Kings or the Queens, and that used to be speech. Yeah, no tradition, no tradition.
Speaker 3:No, but they don't watch it. They don't watch it either, but good, yeah, good, and with her on that, not the board games.
Speaker 2:I'm not asked by it, I just. It's just one of those things you do and but what does a queen or king ever say?
Speaker 3:that's even remotely.
Speaker 1:Why do we care? Maybe Christmas one and all, yeah, yeah, camilla and I was walking out on the scene of the snow Fucking hell.
Speaker 3:In the difficult time of year for people, so I couldn't just top the sherry up. The difficult time of year for people.
Speaker 1:All the family who've come over for Christmas here at Windsor, apart from Megan and that bastard, illegitimate son Harry, who's definitely James Hewitt.
Speaker 2:How is he not James Hewitt's son? I mean, obviously he is. Yeah, come on, he does look. I mean he's like he's ridiculous, like he's literally James. He doesn't anything. I mean he's got a bit of his obviously similarity to Will because of Diana, but fuck me. Anyway, that's another story in the front of the day, I'm sure. Oh my God. My partner and Arthur have just walked in and scared the fucking living shite out of me.
Speaker 3:You all right, partha.
Speaker 2:If you can hear the.
Speaker 3:I think she wants to play a board game.
Speaker 2:That isn't the sound of reindeer in the background.
Speaker 1:That's the sound of my partner shaking out biscuits into a what are you making a face like you're creeping around, for You're just coming like the brass band. She's coming with the cats.
Speaker 2:She shook out all the food into the bowl and then she's walking tiptoe in and then that kind of like face like, oh, sorry, I'm like it's too late now, isn't it?
Speaker 1:Merry fucking Christmas yeah.
Speaker 2:Go and sit on the board game.
Speaker 1:Yeah, then would you then go for walk on Christmas day?
Speaker 3:I have done.
Speaker 1:I have done.
Speaker 3:It wouldn't be again. It came down to whoever I was going out with the time, depending what they wanted to do yeah, but I'm talking about what would be your idea of the day.
Speaker 2:So that's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3:If it was snow? If it was snowing, yes, I would go for walk.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's not going to be snow though, is it? It's fucking global warming?
Speaker 3:No, if there's no snow, then I don't care. What's the point? Oh, that's the other thing. Christmas day ideal it's snowing when I get up. It's a thick layer about a foot of snow and it's still going, even to the detriment of people that have no heating, as long as it's snowing.
Speaker 2:Wow, which, in the current climate, is pretty much everyone, because no one else, no one can afford to fucking.
Speaker 3:But at least you're cold, but at least there's something to look at Back track in a little bit then.
Speaker 2:So ideal Christmas day so far for me is a Christmas Eve present. Get up early in the morning, get out of the lights on, get it nice and warm, make some tea, get some breakfast on the, go open your presents and then we split off a little bit. I'm nipping to the pub. You're watching some Christmas films. Why am I doing that? Because you said you want to watch some Christmas films.
Speaker 3:Are we going out now?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we might as well tell them at some point, and then come back, and then I'm getting ready for dinner. I'm having dinner, right, you're not. I'm having dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner. Then we have the King's speech. We watch that, nip out for a walk, feeling inspired from what Charles has said to us, and come back Christmas films, bosh.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Bit of a sleep because you feel a bit it's too warm. Bit of food inside you Chocolates, chocolates and all the little Christmasy snacks. Maybe a bit of spire too. Then it's time for evening buffet.
Speaker 3:Evening. Are we not in the evening yet?
Speaker 2:Not in the evening yet, so you say evening, what are you talking about?
Speaker 3:7 o'clock or like 6 o'clock, 7, 8, 9, whatever.
Speaker 2:So you have some, maybe a little bit of leftovers, maybe some cheese, maybe some like Cheese and biscuits. Buffet stuff. Yeah, like a little buffet Cheese and biscuits Gotta do it. And then it's games and films into the night and then go to bed.
Speaker 3:So do you ever go out? Christmas Was going out, Christmas Eve, I think for you like drinking.
Speaker 2:Has been. I don't know if it'd be my perfect one now. Not really, I'd rather just.
Speaker 3:I never did it. It was never a thing for me.
Speaker 2:We were. We were not used to drinking this much.
Speaker 3:We were Mrs. We were not on Christmas Eve. That's only because we were here, though. So I used to Me and my sister would never go out. I'd go at the 23rd with all my friends, and they'd all be going out Christmas Eve as well. That was their big tradition going out and getting wasted, getting up Christmas morning with a hangover, and I was like I don't want to start Christmas with a hangover. Me and my sister were like no, we'd sit in Christmas Eve, watch Christmas films, have like the whole Christmas Eve Santa's company that we know is not really coming, experience, play board games, get ready for the next day. That's what we did. So you never. It was never a thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's the thing you do when you're younger, because I know that, like my partner's cousin would always turn that to Christmas Day, pretty much worse for work, because she'd been out like a massive fucking night before. Obviously, now you know she's a bit older now and she's about to, you know, have a baby and everything else, so it'd be different. But back then she was always younger, the youngest one in the family, so she was always coming in like well whereas, yeah, we never really did that.
Speaker 1:So yeah.
Speaker 2:Anyway. So I think you have to finish off with games and films and then boxing. Boxing day you have in Bubbles and Squeak leftovers.
Speaker 3:No, my family are foreign out there. There's none of that stuff. What do they have on Boxing Day then? I don't know a fight so for Boxing Day. Well, because there's usually way too much food on Christmas Day, we will end up probably eating some of the Christmas Day stuff and probably just having more cakes and biscuits out on anything that had to be made, or like, if I've got Lego or any of that stuff, I'd be doing that on Boxing Day. Oh, Lego.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh you've just reminded me that's one of my favorite Christmas presents I ever got on Christmas. It was a Lego set and you made a police station out of it and it had, like a little police motorbike, police helicopter, a police kind of Range Rover and the station and all.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, I forgot that. No, lego never did that, that was logo.
Speaker 2:That was Duplo, duplo, four blocks, that was it. Anyway, listen, juan, it's been a lovely Christmas episode reminiscing with you, but what we haven't told the listener is that we have a very, very special guest today. So first guest ever on the podcast. Yeah, quite excited about this, quite nervous, but we're going to interview them him, she, Him, they, I don't know, we'll find out.
Speaker 3:We'll find out.
Speaker 2:So, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Santa.
Speaker 1:Oh, hello, Hello Juan.
Speaker 3:Santa's been smoking.
Speaker 2:Merry Christmas one and all. How are you all? Yeah, it's very, very good. Thank you, Santa. You're good, aren't you Juan? You look well, fucking into this you need fucking pick up a little bit, you look like oh, here we go.
Speaker 3:Yeah, this is Santa's here.
Speaker 2:You are like, you love Christmas and Santa's here. Yes, I've heard you love.
Speaker 1:Christmas one Would you like to see?
Speaker 2:my sack.
Speaker 3:You must be really tired from just having flown around the world last night.
Speaker 1:Here's the price of rocket fuel is through the roof. I go through the roof, yes.
Speaker 2:So, santa, we wanted to know why, back in the 80s, did you leave that poor little homeless boy on the street with a can of coke? Yeah, you ruthless bastard. Well, it was the 80s back then and there was lots of homeless people and I really enjoyed this interview. Santa, thank you for coming in. It was a pleasure. If you've got anything you want to ask, one make it a lot easier for Santa to answer, if you could. Good job, this wasn't preplanned. You could have thought about it, your brick.
Speaker 3:In the 80s, if you could see one face now.
Speaker 2:he's literally there like this. He's got his hand in his temple like cringing. Oh, this is so uncle, your face. I want to take a screenshot. The poor boys and girls are so excited Santa's here.
Speaker 3:This is true. This is true. I've got a question. I've got a question for Santa. Okay, santa, I've got a joke for you. I've got a joke for you. Why, santa, on his fourth wife, I don't know, because his other three were ho, ho, hoes.
Speaker 2:So, anyway, santa's fucked off, thank God. Let's finish off this Christmas episode with a Christmasy pearl of wisdom to set us up for the rest of the Christmas day and into the new year. What do you reckon? One?
Speaker 3:Sure, let's do that.
Speaker 2:So it's time for the 40 plus and minuses. So, special pearl of wisdom, here's your liquor sprout with a candy cane in your hand. Merry Christmas.
Speaker 3:Thanks, Santa.
Speaker 2:Thanks, Santa. Thanks for popping in. Oh, you're welcome, bye-bye, merry Christmas one and all. Yeah enough, nice Santa. Thanks, mate Cheers. See you in the new year, juan.
Speaker 3:See you in the new year. Happy Christmas, happy Christmas.
Speaker 1:Happy Christmas.